House of Estrogen

Letter to Blog Spammers

Dear Blog Comment Spammers,

You know who you are... bathroom vanities, jomashop ebay coupon, tankless water heaters, coffeemakersadvisor, sectionalsofasgiant, monogram necklace gold, air conditioning repair north las vegas, and my personal favorite, review on the X4labs penis enhancer. Do you really think you are reaching your intended audience by commenting on my blog?  Does anybody EVER click through to your link from my blog? Do you realize that I mark your comments as spam daily and remove them from my blog? I suppose I should feel flattered that you think I have a large enough audience that you might get some clicks through my site. I'm not though. I'm just annoyed. I'm tired of these comments:

Wow, awesome blog layout! How lengthy have you been running a blog for? you make blogging look easy. The entiure glance of your weeb site is excellent, as well as the content!

Wow, so the entiure glance of my weeb site is excellent? The entiure thing? I'm blushing.

Hello there, just became alert to your blog threough Google, and found that it is reallly informative. I'm gonna watch out for brussels. I will appreciate if you continue this in future. Many people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

I'm so glad you're watching out for brussels. I will too. Whew!

I almost never wite remarks, howevcer i did some searching and wound up here Simple Woman's Daybook, April 29, 2013 - House of Estrogen. And I actually do have 2 questions for you if it's allright. Could itt be just me or doies it give the impression like a few of thewe remarks come across like written byy brain dead people? :-P And, if you are writing on other social sites, I'd like to keep up with everything new you have to post. Would you list of the complete urls of all your communal pages like your linkedin profile, Facebook page or twitter feed?

Really, you never wite remarks?  So the fact that you've left this exact same comment five times is... uh... coincidence?  And yes... many of my comments do come across as written byy brain dead people. Funny you should mention that.

Can I simply just say what a relief too uncover someone tht really knows what they are discussing over the internet. You definitely realioze howw tto bring a problem to light and make it important. More and mre people have to read this and understand this side of your story. I can't believe you are not more popular because you definitely possess the gift.

Preaching to the choir, man... I'm bringing problems to light and making them important. I can't believe I'm not more popular. Of course, if I was, I'd get even more spam.

Wow! After all I got a webpage from where I be capable of in fact taake useful data regarding my study and knowledge.

I feel honored that my post about making goodies for teacher gifts is helping your study and knowledge! Wow! Who would have guessed I would be so influential?

For now, I'm just going to keep deleting the spam, but for those of you who are my real readers and true commenters, if you notice me change to comment moderation or other comment security measures, you'll know why.

Thanks,

Ann

 

A Blogging Break

I have had a couple people comment recently on the absence of my habitual Monday Simple Woman's Daybook post this week. I assure you I am still alive and kicking. I'm here. I'm just not blogging. Right now, unless you have some affiliation with Girl Scout cookies, jump rope, or a major pharma company, you just aren't getting much attention from me. In the evenings, when I might normally have time to blog, my neck and shoulder are threatening to spasm into pandemonium at any moment, so I am trying to let them relax with more Project Runway and ice cream and less typing and photo editing. Blog posts are swirling in my head, ready to roll, but I just need to give myself a little break right now.

As I head off to hold down the couch, I leave you with a photo from the week... my five year old fashionista. Apparently, if it is pink and has stripes, it goes together.

Free Ranging

I am a huge fan of Lenore Skenazy over at Free Range kids, so I'm just tickled pink that she featured a note from me on her blog today. Go check it out! A Playground Accident and the Instinct to Blame

Pumpkin Patch Fun 2012

We checked out a new pumpkin patch this year... nothing fancy, just a cute little pumpkin farm with a fun sign for pictures,

bowling,

mini golf,

corn hole,

a tire to climb on,

and one to ride on,

a corn maze,

a tractor to drive,

and pumpkins, of course.

We rode on the spooky hay ride, picked out the very best pumpkins, and enjoyed the sunny day. Before we left though, I made sure to follow my friend Allison's advice. Her Mom Stays in the Picture post resonated with moms everywhere, myself included.  I may look pudgier than I'd like. I was probably all sweaty and gross that day, and I clearly need a new pair of sunglasses. Despite all that, my kids need to know that I'm in the picture, in their lives, and with them in their adventures. Thanks to Allison, I'm going to make more of an effort to get in the pictures. Thank you, Allison!

If you haven't seen Allison's TV appearances, check her out here on Nightline, NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams, Today, and the Katie Couric Show.

I've Been Tagged

My friend Jodi tagged me to do this post. Her original post appeared smack dab in the middle of Girl Scout cookie season, so she made the stipulation that I could complete this once I was done with cookies. I'm finally catching up on life, so it is time to catch up on this tag!

The Rules

1. Post these rules
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself
3. Answer the questions set for you in the post you were tagged in
4. Create 11 new questions for your tagees to answer
5. Tag them on Twitter, Facebook or your blog

11 Random Facts About Me

1. Three of my first cousins have twins. My dad is a twin.
2. I was on a figure skating precision team in middle school.
3. Angie Harmon (of "Law and Order" fame) and John Hinkley Jr. (of attempting to assassinate President Reagan fame) both attended my high school. I think I was a senior when Angie Harmon won Seventeen magazine's cover girl contest as a sophomore.
4. I have only been snow skiing once, and it was warm enough that we wore shorts.
5. I am allergic to cats, dogs, horses, and rats.
6. I skated in a charity ice show in high school that featured Scott Hamilton. He is even shorter than he looks on TV.
7. I love genealogy.
8. When my dad first taught me to drive, he took me out to a cemetery to practice driving, and I hit a car there.
9. I wore sneakers with my wedding dress.
10. I played roller hockey as an adult (pre-kids) on a team named Sasquatch.
11. I love denim. I wear denim jeans, capris, or shorts pretty much every day.

11 Questions I was Asked to Answer

1. What is your favourite way to waste time without getting caught!!? I’m not totally sure I understand this question, but I waste time playing Bejeweled Blitz on my iPod and watching trash TV (Kardashians, Housewives, etc.)
2. What was the first really *big* concert you went to? Rick Springfield
3. Biggest regret in life? I'm not sure if "regret" is the right word, but I would have liked to have had a son... not much I can do about that though. The baby train has passed.
4. And the inverse... proudest moment? Becoming a mama
5. If you could ask President Obama one question - what would it be? I really have no clue… I’ll keep thinking. What would you ask?
6. Sweets or Salt? Sweets, for sure.
7. First or oldest childhood friend... are you still in contact with him or her? Mel, best friend since about 4th grade – and yes. We hope to do a family vacation together this fall.
8. What do people love best about you? I don’t know. Anyone want to tell me?
9. What is the coolest or most profound thing that has happened to you in the last 4 months? These questions are too hard! I suppose the best thing that has happened in the past four months was finding out that Elise has reflux and seeing her symptoms improve with treatment.
10. What do you need more of right now? Organizational skills and time
11. What's a hobby you've always wanted to try? In theory, I would love to be able to sew, but I don’t actually want to take the time, energy, and space in my house to learn how.    

11 Questions for You to Answer

1. What is your favorite movie?
2. If you could go back and give your 16 year old self one piece of advice, what would it be?
3. Why do you blog?
4. What did you want to be when you grew up? Are you doing that?
5. M&M's - plain or peanut?
6. What was your first car?
7. What is your favorite Halloween costume you've ever worn?
8. What are your favorite blogs to read?
9. If you were to have a boy and a girl tomorrow, what would you name them?
10. What was your favorite class in college?
11. What celebrity do you think it would be fun to be friends with?

Now, I'm tagging:

Queenie at The Planet Pink

Claire at Brighten The Corner

Jen at ::Meditatio::

Su at Beach Front Sea Side

Kerry at KerryAndGabe.com

Audrey at AudreyPodrey

Thanks, Jodi! That was fun.   

My Modeling Career

My friend Claire over at Brighten the Corner was checking out the Title 9 catalog recently and decided to answer all the questions they ask their models. It sounded like fun, and this is probably as close as I will ever come to a career in modeling... might as well pursue it!

Your Theme Song: Stronger by Kanye West

Most Disturbing Food: peanut butter and molasses mixed together

Secret Superpower: detecting changes in barometric pressure with my ankles

Secret Weakness: cute children's clothing

The first thing you do in the morning: open my eyes to see Addie staring at me, poking me in the face.

You drive: a GMC Acadia

You want to drive: a fully loaded Cadillac Escalade

What you wear on your sleeve: dislike, annoyance, and frustration.

I am: Pocahontas' 10th great grandchild

Friends call me: just Ann

Next up: time to myself and my family with fewer obligations

Your tombstone: She raised 3 fabulous, strong, independent women

Traveled to: England, Mexico, Canada, half of the 50 states

Want to travel: any place tropical, Dubai, Machu Picchu, Water Island

Earthly knowledge: no matter how bad things seem, they could be worse

Heavenly knowledge: Memories fade, both the good and the bad

Work: software development

Technique: procrastination and chaos

Favorite find: Kindle

Essential tool: email

Gets to: work at an amazing company

Racks up: dirty laundry

Heroic moment: surviving emergency chest surgery and a pulmonary embolism.

Build-a-Bear Birthday Bash

Sometimes when I start to write a birthday party post, I get that nagging feeling that I'm somehow failing as a mommy blogger. I've never done a Royal Ball, an Alice in Wonderland Party, a Barnyard Party, or a Fairy Ballerina Party. There seems to be an unwritten rule in the mommy blogging world that birthday parties are required to be over-the-top at-home celebrations complete with a decadent dessert table, elaborate theming and personalized water bottles or lemonade in mason jars. (Click on those party links to see what I'm talking about.) I'm not sure how this trend started, but clearly there is a need to one-up everyone else in the blogging world when it comes to birthday parties. While I admire the creativity and effort put into these parties, I can't help but think, "You have GOT to be kidding me!!! Who has time for that? Do you have a life? What is the world coming to?" Seriously, when you are spending as much on a 2 year old's birthday party that most people spend on a wedding, there is something very, very wrong.

Or maybe I'm just jealous.

Anyway, when planning a party, I am the anti-mommy-blogger. I'm pretty sure I'm doing it all wrong, but it works for me. These are my rules for a successful non-blog-worthy party.

1. The party must not be in my house. I don't want kids in the house. I don't want parents in the house. I don't want to clean up the house in anticipation of the party. I don't want to clean up the house after the party. That is too much work. The party must be somewhere away from my house where someone else is in charge of decorating, entertainment, and clean up. Mommy bloggers everywhere are cringing as they read this. This goes against every fiber of their soul.
2. The party must be small. I don't need my kids getting birthday presents from 25 kids. We have too much crap in the house as it is.
3. I do not make the cake. I know how to decorate cakes. I used to be good at decorating cakes, but who has time for that?  Cakes will be store bought.
4. I do not give out "bags o' crap" party favors. I know other people suffer from the "too much crap in the house" syndrome as well, and they don't need junky dollar store goodies cluttering up their house any more than I do.

So, in keeping with my party rules, Addison had a Build-a-Bear party for her 4th birthday.

Invitations were sent via Evite. I give it a thumbs up for free, easy, and more likely to get an RSVP. A real mommy blogger would rather give up her dSLR than send an evite, but that's how I roll.

You know what though, Addie had a ball, and her friends did too. That's the goal right? Kids having fun? Or perhaps I missed an email about the goal.

They picked out bears,

and outfits,

and stuffed and groomed them.

J.C. got his baby fix by holding this little guy.

Of course, no House of Estrogen event is complete without an injury. Nina jumped up and bumped her head on a shelf. Poor kid.

It is pretty much impossible to get a picture of a bunch of 3-4 year olds without a lot of forced grins. Lovely.

After Build-a-Bear, we headed over to the food court for pizza and cupcakes. I'm pretty sure "food court at a birthday party" is mommy blogger code for "over my dead body". They are four though. What do they care if they have a juice box or mason jar?

My two nods to mommy blogging cuteness were the cupcakes and Addie's shirt. Of course, I can't take credit for either. Cupcake toppers were from Etsy seller Paper Owl Party Design.

Addie's shirt was by Etsy seller Criss Cross Creations. Nice scraped nose and goose-egg on her forehead, eh?

I think the party was a success. It was outside the house. There were only 5 guests. I didn't make the cake, and the party favors were the bears. Check, check, check, and check! Addie had a blast and had no idea that she should have been expecting personalized water bottles and color coordinated m&m's and lollipops. Score!

Happy Birthday Addison! May all your wishes come true.

 

 

 

Tip for Bloggers

If you are going to blog about an upcoming "surprise dinner party for a friend's birthday", make sure that said friend DOES NOT READ YOUR BLOG.

Just sayin'.

You might ruin a surprise.  Not that I have any experience with that or anything... just trying to provide a helpful tip.

Funkity Funk

I'm in a funk. Or a mood. Or a bad place. Whatever is going on, I'm in a funk... a no blogging, no photographing, no laundry folding, no cooking, just want to lie in bed and read and watch the new season of Project Runway funk. I'll be back to blogging at some point. I owe Nina a 6.5 year letter, and I'd like to get that written before she turns seven. Bear with me... hopefully I'll be back to regular blogging soon.

I'd Like to Thank the Academy...

This week, my dear friend over at The Planet Pink presented me with the Outstanding Blogger Award. I have to admit, I've never been quite sure where blogger awards originate or what sort of meaning is behind them, but I'm honored to have received one regardless! Planet Pink is another girl mama who has me beat with FOUR girls! Blows your mind a little, doesn't it?  At least it does mine. I am maxed out at three, so I bow down to Planet Pink for tackling another!

I started blogging as a way to share pictures and stories with friends and family without bombarding them with email. Somewhere along the way, it has become much more than that. It is my digital scrapbook, my creative outlet, my connection with other blogging friends, my photography hobby, my creative writing, my challenge, and my baby. I write it for myself, for my family, and for anyone who cares to read it. I'm always so touched when people say that they enjoy it or take time to leave a comment, so I am especially honored that Planet Pink chose to pass along this award. Thank you!

Now I'd like to pass along this award to a few bloggers I follow who I think are outstanding...

 

Tracy at Sellabit Mum - another 3 girl mama whose humor I love!

Mama at The Elmo Wallpaper - a 3 boy mama who tells it like it is.

Michelle at Scenes from the Wild - an amazing photographer and writer who is the mom to 5 boys and 1 girl.

Amanda at I Am Baker - a great baker who decorates the most incredible cookies.