House of Estrogen

Things That Make Me Smile

1. J.C. and I had a conversation tonight about how much pizza to order while both of us were online simultaneously placing orders without realizing the other one was also ordering. How does that happen? How did each of us think we were in charge of the pizza and not figure that out over the course of the conversation? He was on a computer. I was on the iPhone app, and we placed our similar but not quite identical orders at the exact same time. The Domino's folks had to be wondering what the heck we were doing. The delivery guy showed up with both orders, and that's when we realized what we had done.  I suppose this was better than both of us thinking the other was ordering and no pizza ever arriving; however, we now have enough pizza to feed the whole neighborhood all weekend. Come on over!

2. J.C. has introduced the girls to The Greatest American Hero. Thank you, Netflix!  Our children now have a new found appreciation for 70's TV. Believe it or not, I'm walking on air. I never thought I could feel so free eee eee. Flying away on a wing and a prayer. Who could it be? Believe it or not it's just me.

3. My tough girl.

Adventures in Hair Cuts

J.C. and I both decided to try new hair stylists this week. At first I thought JC was taking a bit of a risk in his choice of stylist. After all, kindergarten is no cosmetology school, and she is still developing her scissor skills. In hindsight though, I realize his choice was brilliant. If he ended up with a bad haircut, he could blame it on the six year old and easily go pay for a new trim.

Plus, it looked like they were having a lot of fun.

I, on the other hand, made the mistake of choosing a stylist through Groupon (lesson learned). I sat through my entire hair cut sending JC texts like, "worried abt this hair cut", "I've NEVER in 43 yrs had someone cut my hair dry!", and "My hair is so jacked up. I'm going to be here all day." You know when you are sitting in the salon wishing that your six year old was the one cutting your hair that you are in trouble. I came out of there with an angled bob on one side, a straight bob on the other, and a big lopsided chunk cut out of the back. The "blonde highlights" I requested took a couple days to show up, and they are not even remotely blonde. Two days later, I found myself paying for a second haircut to correct the first one. First cut (top) and second cut (bottom) shots are below.

After paying for one groupon haircut, one full priced haircut, and a 50% tip to the stylist who came to my rescue, it isn't the money or the weird orange-bronze highlights that get to me. I can deal with all that. There is a much bigger problem at hand. This whole hair debacle made me miss the premiere of 24: Live Another Day. That inept hair stylist threw me off my game so much that I missed my night of Jack Bauer. Now THAT, my friends, is the true tragedy here.

My Day Suddenly Just Got Brighter

Jack. Bauer. Is. Back. Summer. 2014.

Be still my heart.

Pumpkin Patch Fun 2012

We checked out a new pumpkin patch this year... nothing fancy, just a cute little pumpkin farm with a fun sign for pictures,

bowling,

mini golf,

corn hole,

a tire to climb on,

and one to ride on,

a corn maze,

a tractor to drive,

and pumpkins, of course.

We rode on the spooky hay ride, picked out the very best pumpkins, and enjoyed the sunny day. Before we left though, I made sure to follow my friend Allison's advice. Her Mom Stays in the Picture post resonated with moms everywhere, myself included.  I may look pudgier than I'd like. I was probably all sweaty and gross that day, and I clearly need a new pair of sunglasses. Despite all that, my kids need to know that I'm in the picture, in their lives, and with them in their adventures. Thanks to Allison, I'm going to make more of an effort to get in the pictures. Thank you, Allison!

If you haven't seen Allison's TV appearances, check her out here on Nightline, NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams, Today, and the Katie Couric Show.

When Did I Have Sex with the Devil?

And how did I not know about it?  Clearly I did though because Addison's behavior lately is a work of evil. You know how you watch that show Supernanny and think, "Holy crap! Those kids are so out of control. Even on a bad day, my kids are never that bad. Whew!  This makes me look like a fabulous parent!"  I used to do that. Now I watch that show and think, "How can I get Supernanny to come visit me?  Those kids have got nothing on Addie."  She our third child. You would think after having parented two other four year olds that we would have figured out a few tricks in dealing with them. We may have. We might be able to parent ANY OTHER FOUR YEAR OLD IN THE UNIVERSE, but this one is killing us. If she doesn't take a nap today, my head will explode. I apologize to whoever finds my body. It won't be pretty. The kicking, the hitting, the spitting, the running in parking lots, the kicking my seat back in the car, the yelling, the disrespect... it is getting to me, and getting me down. A few days ago, JC decided that she must be schizophrenic or manic depressive. He said, "I think she needs a therapist."  I pulled out my trusty Touchpoints 3 to 6 book by T. Berry Brazelton because he is a parenting genius and has never let me down. I read about a four year old so out of control that her parents thought "she was hyperactive or even manic" and about another four year old whose eyes would glaze over as his mother spoke to him, and about a mother who wondered "why a four-year old could show sadistic behavior."  All of that was somewhat comforting. It sounds like Addison is not outside the realm of normal four year old behavior, but all of Brazelton's suggestions for dealing with it are WHAT WE'RE ALREADY DOING. Brazelton, Super nanny, I need your help!

Being a parent the second and third times to a baby seemed like a breeze. We knew how to diaper them, bathe them, soothe them, swaddle them, how to work a carseat, and what to pack in a diaper bag. All those things that were so overwhelming with the first baby seemed like second nature with the next two.

This four year old thing though... it is like a big smack in the face (literally and figuratively).  Where did this child come from? Brazelton talks a lot about temperament. We've always thought Addie and Nina were quite similar as they are both insanely stubborn. Nina is stubborn and cunning though. Addie is stubborn with the temperament of a wild honey badger (Guiness World Record title: most ferocious predator animal). It is a dangerous combination.

I love that girl. I really do, but if anybody has an in with Supernanny, will you please send her my way?

R.I.P. Andy Griffith

photo taken March 2005 - that's Nina in the backpack and Elise in front with their cousins and Andy and Opie.

A Jump Rope Session They Will Never Forget

I heard about this video tonight at jump rope practice, and I'm still smiling just thinking about it. Several local jumpers were invited to perform on Live With Kelly in New York a couple weeks ago. They are all on a team here in town that competes against Elise's team, and one of them used to jump for Elise's team.

As if jumping on national TV wasn't enough of a thrill of a lifetime, a special guest joined them. The kids had no clue at all what was about to happen. It was a complete surprise. Check out the video. I bet those kids and parents are still grinning from ear to ear... what an opportunity of a lifetime!

A Day of Mourning

Have you heard the news? The awful news that has 40-something moms everywhere sobbing over their morning coffee? Rumor has it that Matt Lauer is leaving the Today Show when his contract is up at the end of 2012. Please, Matt, say it ain't so!  How will I start my day without my morning dose of Matt? My friend Tracy over at Sellabit Mum dubbed him her "morning porn"... funny, but true, so true.  Matt, how can you let us down like this? It will be a sad, sad day indeed when his contract comes to a close.

Besides the news of Matt's departure rocking my world, against my better judgement, I let J.C. and Addie talk me into getting Addie's hair cut. Why, oh, why did I go along with their evil plan? I loved her long hair. I loved the braids. I loved the pig tails. I loved the hair bows and hair clips. Now it is gone, and I am mourning my losses today - Matt to start my day and Addie's hair. Life just won't be quite the same.

Before:

 

During:

 

After:

 

Call me petty. Call my losses insignificant if you will. Some things are just sacred to a worn-out overworked mama though.

Just Because It Made Me Laugh

This video has absolutely nothing to do with anything related to anything here at HouseOfEstrogen.com, but it just made me laugh hysterically. It is quite possible that the cookies have stressed me to the point that the laughter is simply my brain's way of saving me from tearing my hair out and screaming obscenities at the Shout Outs, but I was truly laughing out loud watching this. It is Tom Hanks spoofing the show Toddlers and Tiaras. If you have seen the show, you'll likely find this especially funny. Even if you haven't seen it, I bet you'll get a chuckle anyway. Enjoy!

 

Classy...

Nothing says, "I'm a professional" quite like walking into work carrying a hot pink and turquoise iCarly umbrella that isn't quite broad enough to cover both your shoulders because you can't find any other umbrella. It is like the elementary school mom equivalent of going in to work with spit-up on your shoulder.