House of Estrogen

Master Bathroom (a.k.a. If You Give a Mouse a Cookie)

 
It all started with this lovely leak in our kitchen ceiling.

We called our insurance company and got an estimate for fixing and painting the ceiling, and fixing and replacing the old, cracked, mildewed, leaking shower floor above it.

That was simple enough, but then it was like we plunged headfirst into the "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" book and couldn't get out of it. If you aren't familiar Laura Numeroff's books, one thing leads to another which leads to another which leads to another and so on. The progression makes for charming children's books; however, when adapted to home renovations, it gradually leads to bankruptcy.

When choosing new bathroom flooring, we couldn't help but think, "we should really get rid of all that dreadfully boring white tile in the shower at the same time...

and go for frameless shower glass too.

If we were having someone come in to do all that tile work anyway, it was a perfect time to get rid of the hanging shower caddy, right?

Sure, the insurance payment wasn't going to cover a dime of (not one, but two) custom built-in shower shelves, but you know... since it was all ripped apart anyway, it only made sense.

I never did like that white tile floor with the little black accent squares. And who was the genius who thought white grout was a good idea?

If somebody was going to be working on laying tile anyway, then obviously it was time to get rid of all the builder's grade white tile and replace it with travertine. Obvs.

Insurance was going to cover the cost of replacing the tile around the edge of the tub.

But you know... those big soaker tubs have always looked so inviting. Apparently, if you give a mouse a cookie, she's going to want a new bathtub to relax in while she eats it.

We initially planned on keeping the existing cabinets, countertop, mirrors, and lighting. The white would still go with all the new tile, and of all the things I have hated about this bathroom since we moved in, the light fixture was never one of those things.

So much for best laid plans.  If you're going to spring for travertine floors, you gotta get the travertine counters to match, right?

 

And if your contractor is going to the trouble to build new cabinet drawer and door fronts (we did actually keep the existing cabinetry), then why continue to use the purchased-from-Target-20-years-ago medicine cabinet?

If you give a pig a pancake, he's going to have the contractor build a brand new medicine cabinet to hold his syrup.

Oh, and since the toilet had to be lifted up to replace the tile...

Then clearly, it needed to be replaced with a stronger flushing one with nice flat sides that don't collect dust.

So, it all started with a little insurance money to fix a leak in the shower floor, and it ended with a completely renovated master bathroom, a very modestly updated kids' bathroom, most of the upstairs painted, both stairwells painted, a new closet built in the office, new walls built in the playroom, new lighting in the playroom, and the entire downstairs ceiling painted. I think our poor contractor thought we were going to make him move in.

I have to say though, I'm very pleased with the transformation. From the sterile grey paint with the white tile, white tub, white counter, white floors, white sinks, white cabinets, white trim, and that horrendous white grout...

 to our own little warm, inviting spa-like retreat.

Now we just have to figure out how to convince the insurance company that the little leak in the kitchen necessitated work being done all over the house. That shouldn't be too hard. Surely they have read "If You Give a Moose a Muffin", right?

 

A Shadow Hunter, A Vampire, and a Sick Little Cowgirl

Ever have one of those days where nothing goes quite as planned? Halloween was that day for us this week.

Elise decided to dress as a heroine from young adult literature for the second year in a row. Last year, she was Katniss from the Hunger Games. This year, she was a Shadow Hunter from City of Bones (The Mortal Instruments series). Our Shadow Hunter had made plans to trick-or-treat in a friend's neighborhood and was all excited about that prospect; however, on Tuesday, she twisted her ankle at school. Her ankle was still bothering her a lot, so she decided she was better off staying close to home where she could easily head home at any point to rest her ankle.

Our teenage vampire had also made plans with friends that fell through. She and a friend had solidified trick or treating plans at school without talking to the other girl's mother. It turns out their family had plans with family friends, so Nina was stuck trick-or-treating with her sister instead. She was less than thrilled about that.

Our poor littlest cowgirl spent the day throwing up and lying on the floor of the bathroom. As she so aptly put it, "This is not my best day ever."

J.C. spent the day cleaning vomit off of our family room carpet and leather couch... definitely not his best day ever either.

I had plans to leave work early, pick up a jack-o-lantern pizza to bake from Papa Murphy's, and help the girls get ready. Instead, a customer issue cropped up late in the afternoon that required an "all hands on deck" approach at work. There was no way I was going to leave early, or even on time, for that matter.

J.C. left poor little Addie in the hands of her big sisters to go pick up the pizza. Usually Papa Murphy's fashions a stem out of pizza dough, so it looks more pumpkin like. This guy is just more of a smiley pizza than a real jack-o-lantern. At least it tasted good.

After dinner, the big girls took off with reminders to say thank you at each house and to cross the streets very carefully as they were pretty much invisible in all black.

At some point, the little cowgirl rallied and decided she could venture out. She couldn't stand the thought of missing out completely. I took her to about 5 houses, and then we came home. I was glad she felt up to at least a little trick-or-treating. She had been so excited about being a cowgirl.

Her sisters showed up hours later with plenty of loot to share. We certainly have no shortage of candy despite Addie's very abbreviated trip out.

This year definitely didn't rank up there with the best Halloweens ever, but we muddled through it. I hope your Halloween was full of shadow hunters, ghosts, vampires, princesses, healthy cowgirls, haunted houses, jack-o-lantern pizzas, and plenty of candy!

I Like Her Logic

Over the years, JC and I have grown weary of the constant barrage of questions in the weeks following Halloween. Can I have a piece of candy? Will you put a piece of candy in my lunchbox? Can I have a piece of candy before breakfast? Why can't I have a piece of candy before breakfast? Can I have another piece of candy? When can I have a piece of candy? Will we get to eat candy after dinner?  You get the picture. To solve this problem, for the last few years, we have had the "Halloween Witch" come to visit us. The girls each get to pick out a dozen pieces of candy to keep. Then Halloween night, the Halloween witch comes, takes the candy, and leaves a couple books for each girl. It is sort of Tooth Fairy-ish but without the whole "under the pillow" nonsense. This year, the Halloween Witch didn't quite have her act together, so the girls woke to find this letter from her:

Dear Elise, Nina, and Addison,

I want to apologize for your books not being here this morning. My week has been absolutely wretched! That ferocious Hurricane Sandy wiped out half of my book supply! My book storage area flooded, and the books I had chosen for you were under water! Tragic! Simply Tragic!  It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about all those poor books.

It is taking me some time to go back through my list and acquire new books to replace all the ones that were destroyed in the flood. I hope to have that project finished by this weekend, and I will be back with your books then.

I hope you will forgive me. I just feel horrid about all this! Please keep 3 more pieces of candy... that is the least I can do. I will be back as soon as I can with your books.

Sincerely,

The Halloween Witch

The girls seemed to feel her excuse was reasonable and were happy to get to keep three more pieces of candy. Then Nina declared, "Well, now we know for sure that the Halloween witch isn't you and dad since you guys weren't in the hurricane and don't have a book storage area that flooded!"

Ah... so true, so true. I like the way she thinks.

Channeling my Inner Tiger Mother

Before I read Amy Chua's book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, I had preconceived ideas about her from reading her Wall Street Journal article and hearing clips about her on the news. I was convinced I was going to think that she was a harsh, demanding, overbearing, abusive mother. I was sure that I would not agree with any of her parenting tactics. Then, I read the book. As I read, I immediately recognized myself as fairly typical of the "Western parents" that she criticizes. I praise my children if they try hard, regardless of the grades or outcome. I let my children choose their own activities and quit when they tire of them. I encourage my children to work hard in school, but I do not demand it. Conversely, the tiger mother chooses activities, forces hours of practice, and demands nothing less than A's in school. While I can never picture myself following in Amy Chua's footsteps, I did begin to realize there could be a happy medium between the two parenting styles. I agreed with her that perhaps some of my Western parenting ways let my children "off the hook" too easily. I could think of times when I could have pushed them harder or given more of a critique rather than praising the effort.

I made the decision that I would channel my inner Tiger Mother. I wasn't going to ban sleepovers and playdates. I wasn't going to make them practice a musical instrument for hours every night. I wasn't going to call my children "garbage" or "fatty" like Amy Chua has done. That said, I knew I could bring a little Tiger into our home, and I thought it was worth a try.

A couple months ago, Nina told me that she wanted to go to ice skating camp for all three weeks of track-out camp. I love that she enjoys skating. The rink is a bit out of the way for us though, so it isn't the most convenient place for camp. I knew there was a holiday ice show coming up, and that campers had the opportunity to do a group number in the show. Nina had said very vehemently that she had NO intentions of doing the show. As much of a ham as Nina is at home, she is very uncomfortable performing or being in the spotlight. I had asked her about the show several times, and she had always refused. I thought the show would be a good experience for her though. So, WWTMD?  (What Would Tiger Mother Do?)  Well, Tiger Mother would already have her skating six hours a day with the toughest coach at the rink, so I'm already behind on that one. Tiger Mother would definitely force her to do the show though. In my not quite so forceful way, I said, "Nina, I will only sign you up for two weeks of camp if you do the holiday show." She thought about it for a minute, and then said, "OK. I'll do it."  She later told her dad, "Mom is forcing me to do the show."  I gave myself a little Tiger Mother pat on the back for making her to do something she really didn't want to do because I thought it was best. Tiger Mother would be proud. Maybe.

As Nina started preparing for the show, she was just a bundle of excitement - the costumes, the jackets, the rehearsals, the spotlights, the routine - she was loving it. She came home from camp every day with a big smile on her face. I thought to myself, "This Tiger Mother thing is the way to go. If I hadn't made her do the show, she wouldn't know what a great experience it could be."

Nina skated in the show last Friday, and she was beaming through the whole performance.

She was the youngest in her group, and the most beginner of the four, but she skated her heart out. Of course, the real Tiger Mother's child would have been doing triple lutzes. I'm still a Western mom at heart though, so I was quite proud of her bunny hops.

When the show was over, I said, "Nina, aren't you glad I made you do the show?" She agreed, and the next morning, she even said it was sad that it was all over.

Imagine my surprise when a couple days ago Nina said, "Mom, I want to stop skating. I want to do
gymnastics instead." What? What happened to that smiling child who wanted to go to skating camp every day and was sad when the ice show was over? What happened to that child who wanted skating pants more than anything else for Christmas?

More importantly, WWTMD? Well, Tiger Mother would simply tell her "no", lace up her skates, and push her out on to the rink. Hmmm.. this Tiger Mother thing is hard. J.C. and I both talked to Nina for a while to find out exactly what was going on. (Tiger Mother would not approve.) Basically, she just wanted a little break to do something different for a while. She doesn't want to stop skating completely, but we only let her do one sport at a time, and she was ready for a change. It sounded reasonable to us. So, as a stereotypical Western parent, I cancelled the next session of skating and called a gym about gymnastics lessons. 

My poor inner Tiger... she didn't last long. At least I know I can call on her when I need her.

 

A Tradition Continued

Last year, we started a new tradition at Thanksgiving of giving each person in the family the same amount of money to donate to the charity of their choice. It has turned out to be a nice way to talk about our own family's blessings and the struggles and issues facing other families.  I think we all benefit from letting the children really have a say in how we do some of our charitable giving. We discussed our selections over Thanksgiving but with the chaos surrounding J.C.'s injury that week, we finally finished doing our donations today, just under the wire for 2009.

I chose to contribute to the Dallas Zoo in memory of my Uncle John who was an ardent Zoo supporter and volunteer.

J.C. made his contribution to Doctors without Borders, a humanitarian organization providing medical assistance to people in war torn countries. Anderson Cooper of CNN has been very impressed with the work Doctors without Borders is doing all over the world. He has written about them in his book and done a 60 Minutes Story about how they are tackling the crisis of malnutrition.  

Addison donated her share to The Ronald McDonald House of Durham which provides a home away from home for the families of seriously ill children being treated at Duke. It is a wonderful place.

Nina, like last year, chose to purchase animals from Heifer International "because people don't really have a lot of food, so I was thinking I would give them some food because they are starving sometimes."  Heifer International provides livestock and training to families living in poverty as sustainable gifts for the families to support themselves and provide for their communities. Nina donated a pig, a trio of rabbits, and a flock of chicks this year.

Elise decided to split her money between two organizations. She gave half to the Lance Armstrong Foundation "because I know that cancer is really scary, so I  really wanted to do something to cancer." With the other half, she is giving to an organization from which she benefited this year. Karl's Books is a nonprofit that collects new and gently used books for kids being treated at the UNC Chapel Hill Pediatric Oncology Clinic. Children being treated in the clinic can take a book to help them escape boredom, fear, or feeling rotten during treatment. They can read them in the clinic and take them home. When Elise was seen there in the clinic this year when she had ITP she was able to enjoy a book while waiting in the clinic and then take it home with her. She knows how much it meant to her, so she wanted to donate to Karl's Books "because sometimes people get bored at the hospital not doing anything except mushing their brains up watching TV." She took her money to Barnes and Noble where I told her to select a variety of books for different ages of boys and girls. I suggested she choose books that she thinks kids would get excited about receiving at the clinic. I think she did a great job. The reading level pretty much stops at age 8. The list is also a bit slanted toward an 8 year old girl's interests, but that's OK. Any 8 year old girl being treated at the Clinic in the new year should have a nice selection of books from which to choose! Elise purchased:

• Lanie (An American Girl) by Jane Kurtz
• Hank Zipzer: Day of the Iguana by Henry Winkler
• Mercy Watson to the Rescue by Kate DiCamillo
• Baby Einstein Touch and Feel Farm Animals
• Usborne touchy-feely book: That's Not My Fairy...
• Snuggle Puppy by Sandra Boynton
• Chloe the Topaz Fairy by Daisy Meadows
• Scarlett the Garnet Fairy by Daisy Meadows
• Megan the Monday Fairy by Daisy Meadows
• Titanic (A Magic Treehouse Research Guide) by Will Osborne and Mary Pope Osborne
• National Geographic Kids 2010 Almanac
• The Tasty Tale of Chewandswallow by Rick Barba
• The Princess and the Frog: Hoppily Ever After by Elle D. Risco
• Skippy Jon Jones by Judy Schachner
• Chicka Chicka 123 by Bill Martin Jr.