House of Estrogen

Not A Birthday Party

Birthday parties exhaust me - the invitations, the rsvps, the party favors, the food, accounting for food allergies, the craft projects with foam sticker backing pieces all over your house, the themed paper products ordered from Oriental Trading a bit too late and having to pay the exorbitant shipping, the pricey customized cake that is just perfect for the theme, cleaning the house for a party at home or shelling out $200 for a bounce house/bowling alley/ice skating rink/pottery painting/roller rink, and then hovering over your child the next two weeks as she slowly makes her way through thank you notes.  Parties are fun and exciting for about the first five birthdays. Then, they just become very draining. I love celebrating my children's birthdays in some way. The day is special. It is important. It deserves a celebration of some sort. It just doesn't have to be the Build-a-Bear chaos, pizza in a crowded food court, cupcakes on coordinating plates year after year type of special and important.

When my oldest was turning 10, I had an epiphany. I would create a rule... a "no more birthday parties after age 10" rule. Ten would be a big blow-out bash with a slumber party at a hotel, and then after that, done, finito, the end...  no more parties.  Maybe we would have a party for 13 (becoming a teen) and for sweet 16, but other than that, birthdays after 10 are something very low-key. Acceptable options are taking a friend or two out to lunch and a movie, or inviting a friend or two out to dinner and a sleep-over. The main stipulations are that it has to be cheap, easy, involve NO effort on my part when it comes to inviting or accepting rsvps, and there are no gifts or party favors.

Last year, Elise turned 13, so we did have a small party - pizza at a pizza joint near the movie theater with four friends, and then they walked to the movie theater. It was simple and low-key as birthday parties go.

This year, it was like she completely forgot the whole "no birthday parties after you turn 10" thing. She announced, "For my birthday party this year, I want to go to a movie and out to eat with C and T and M and S and N and J and B"  Um... no. My brain was calculating the cost of dinner and a movie for that many kids and knew it was quickly approaching the $200 mark. I reminded her, "No parties after age 10."  She said, "Then how about I just invite a few friends to the pool?"  "Done.", I replied. Pizza and cake for just a few friends served on paper plates leftover from previous parties... that I could manage. She was in charge of all the arrangements... inviting friends, making sure friends' parents had my contact information if they wanted to contact me (most didn't), and figuring out all the details.

For my role, I simply ordered a cake, ordered pizza, and picked up a few extra kids in carpool Friday afternoon. Easy peasy.

All in all, I think the "not a birthday party" was a success. I didn't scour the internet for paper goods or party favors. I didn't talk to any parents about allergies or whether or not it was a drop-off party. I didn't order any custom anything from Etsy. I ordered a grocery store cake with less than 24 hours notice and used the handy dandy Domino's Pizza app on my phone. All the kids had a great time. Elise felt like her birthday had been duly celebrated, and everyone had fun in the pool. "Not a party" perfection, I'd say.

Happy Birthday, Elise!!

Letter to Addison, Age 7

Dear Addison,

You turned seven last month. We celebrated with a gingerbread decorating party at home. I tried desperately to convince you to do a party outside the house - Ice skating! Bounce house place! Taekwondo! Manicures! Build-a-Bear!  You would have none of it. You were determined to have a party at home, so I relented. It was fun... chaotic and crazy, but fun.

Your insistence and never-back-down attitude about the home birthday party is pretty typical of your temperament these days. You are strong-willed and not shy about it. That will serve you well in a board room some day. Right now, it can be a bit draining for your parents. You and Nina are the stubborn soul sisters.

As you entered first grade, we crossed our fingers that the transition would be smoother than your transition to kindergarten which had been pretty traumatic. Things certainly went better, but it was still really tough on you. I think you are just someone who is very sensitive to change. Change is hard for you, and it takes you time to adjust to new classes, new camps, new situations. It isn't a bad thing, it is just part of what makes you you. I am starting to think that a traditional calendar school might be a better fit for you. Tracking in and out of school (9 weeks on, 3 weeks off) brings on a rough transition period every time. It is hard to get your behavior back in line after we track in or out of school. Overall though, school is going well. You like your teacher, and you are cruising along fine academically.

You enjoy reading. A couple of your favorite books lately have been Mercy Watson Fights Crime by Kate DiCamillo and The Princess in Black by Shannon Hale. You have some good friends both in and out of school and still participate in Daisy Girl Scouts and book club. You love to ride your bike and scooter.

The biggest change in your life in the past year has been your participation in Taekwondo.

When you first approached us about doing Taekwondo after a track-out camp field trip, I assumed this activity would go the way of others you have tried (T-ball, cheer, dance, and soccer). Your typical M.O. is to enjoy the activity for the first few weeks, tolerate it for the rest of the season or session, and then quit.

 

I never imagined that Taekwondo would have the impact on you that it has. It has made you a better Addison. I think you needed and craved the structure and discipline of martial arts. It just works for you. All of the tenets of Taekwondo are incorporated into the classes - honor, courtesy, integrity, self-control, perseverence. You are picking up all of that. Your first grade teacher told us that she noticed a difference in your respect and courtesy toward her after you started doing Taekwondo. We notice it at home too.

You are dedicated, determined, focused, and happy working toward your goals at Taekwondo. It is not an activity I ever would have chosen for you, so I'm so glad you found it and pursued it on your own. It is a good fit for your soul. I hope you will continue in Taekwondo for a long time. It has been such a great influence on your life.

I hope seven will be a good year. You continue to challenge us as parents, but you continue to bring us smiles and joy every day too. You talk all the time, giving us all your seven year old observations on life. I love your thought processes.

I love you,

Mama

Letter to Addison, Age 6

Dear Addison,

Today you turned six. I asked you if it felt different to be six. You said, "Yes. People sing caroles to you, and they don't do that on other days. Also, it feels older. When I'm a lot, a lot older, I'll be in first grade." I guess that about sums it up. We celebrated this morning with sweet rolls and bacon. It was a nice way to start the day.

You opened your gifts from all of us - a LEGO camper set, a stuffed Olaf, your first American Girl Doll (Saige), and your favorite - footie pajamas. You have been asking for those non-stop for weeks, so I was thrilled your birthday finally arrived. You have been carrying around a catalog with footie pajamas in it, telling me, "I'm getting these for Christmas." No matter how many times I have told you "They are on the list." or "Santa KNOWS about the footie PJ's" or "Got it. I remember.", you persisted. Then your dad decided to mess with me by regularly telling you, "Hey Addie, I don't think mom knows what you want for Christmas, why don't you go show her that picture?"  You are certainly diligent and committed to your cause. If I had to hear about those footie pajamas one more day though, I might have taken a torch to that catalog.

We celebrated your birthday with friends a couple weeks ago at the movie theater to see the movie "Frozen." That was a lot of fun. You loved having all your new kindergarten friends there.

Now that you have received your much coveted footie pajamas for your birthday, we have Christmas coming up next week. You have asked for, "A jeep that I can drive in like my friend W has" and "training wheels for my bike because mom won't let me have them, and I get scared." You won't be getting either of those. You know how to ride a bike. You've been able to ride for almost two years now. There will be no training wheels!

I wrote your 5-ish letter not too long ago, so I don't have too many updates since then. School is still going OK.... not great, but you haven't had another silent lunch, and you haven't been kicked off the bus, so we're calling that a success. Academics are fine. You are picking up reading and writing easily, and math is going fine. It is behavior that is still a struggle. We're definitely seeing improvement though. You now seem to average about one note home from the teacher per week rather than one day per week without a note. Baby steps. One day, you told me, "The bus driver gave me a chance today to sit without being buckled!" I said, "They have seatbelts on the bus?" You said, "Yes, the bus driver makes you wear it if you're wobbly, but she gave me a second chance today." I know the school buses don't have seatbelts as standard equipment, so I'm envisioning you strapped into some seat belt that is there in case a child with disabilities needs to be strapped in. In your case though, the bus driver used it to keep you from causing trouble! Sigh. Your poor bus driver. I think I owe her a big Christmas bonus. If your bus driver or kindergarten teacher retires after this year, I may feel personally responsible!

You're a funny little turkey and are always making us laugh. You make up songs regularly that you sing to yourself. Tonight, while you were supposed to be brushing your teeth, I heard howling coming from the bathroom. I said, "Addie! Brush your teeth!" You said, very matter-of-factly, "I was howling like a wolf", as if that was a perfectly logical excuse for not brushing your teeth.

We lucked into a great Girl Scout troop for you, and you are really enjoying being a Daisy. It is fun for you to finally get to participate in Girl Scouts after watching your sisters all these years.

You and Nina go to the extremes. You are either the best of friends or worst of enemies at any given moment. I love watching you together when you are friends though. In those times, Nina is so sweet with you, and you eat up the special attention. One day, I lost the two of you in the public library. When I finally happened upon you, you were curled up in Nina's lap while she was reading a book to you. It melted my heart.

Of course, Nina also loves using you as her own personal hair and make-up model. Here you are with a butterfly, spider, lady bug, bloody nose, and black eye, all courtesy of Nina.

Watching you shuffle around in your new footie PJ's tonight has made me wistful for your toddler days. You aren't a baby any more, but seeing you all snuggled up in footie pajamas reminds me that I'll always have you as my baby no matter how old you are.

Happy 6th Birthday, Little Bird!

Love,

Mama

 

The Party That Persevered

Against all odds (and possibly against all rational thought), we kept to the schedule of holding Addison's birthday party yesterday. There were many discussions of postponing it, but there was really no available date that worked. Plus, Addie was in birthday party countdown mode, and you can't easily explain a change in countdown to a four year old. Despite my mom's broken hip and subsequent surgery on Wednesday, Addison's strep throat diagnosis on Thursday, Elise's screaming migraine on Friday, and my spending every moment those days caring for my dad rather than prepping for the party, we charged forth.

Addison's birthday is 8 days before Christmas... a pretty crappy date as birthdays go. I know in the future we will need to have a serious separation of birthday and Christmas. As of now, she hasn't figured out her rotten lot in life, so we went with a gingerbread decorating party. A bit Christmasy, yes, but what kid doesn't love decorating gingerbread?

We started out with gingerbread coloring pages.

Then, we moved on to gingerbread crafts.

Then, just when they were beginning to think there wasn't any actual gingerbread involved in this party, we moved on to decorating the real gingerbread men and houses.

No child left without an excellent sugar high.

After they were done with their masterpieces, I provided a shock to their systems - a little bit of fruit and veggies with lunch.

No birthday is complete without a cake though, so we topped off the sugarfest with a cute gingerbread cake.

Then, the birthday girl opened presents, and said thank yous and good-byes to friends.

It has been a stressful, chaotic week, but having Addison's birthday party injected a much needed bit of fun and levity! I'm glad we decided to stick with it. After friends left and the gingerbread crumbs were swept away, I headed to the hospital to pick up my mom since she had been discharged. No rest for the weary!

Letter to Elise, age 11

Dear Elise,

As I have been thinking about this letter to you (over the last two months since your actual birthday), I realized I could sum it all up in one word: change. Your life is all about change right now... change at a lightning fast pace. I'm not sure any of us have figured out how to keep up. We're just hanging on for the ride.

I just looked back at last year's letter and was shocked by how much you have changed in just a year. The little girl is gone, and now the daughter before me is a tall, curvy, braces-wearing tween who reads the Hunger Games and walks around with iPod earbuds growing out of her ears.

You are growing taller and fumbling your way through puberty daily. There are tears involved with most everything these days. Yesterday morning, Nina came into our room and said, "Elise is crying." Your dad responded, "It's morning. That's what Elise does in the mornings." Unfortunately for you, As with every stage in your life, you will be our guinea pig to figure out how to parent tweens and teens. Bear with us. I'm sure we'll make mistakes along the way. You have matured so much in the past year though. I think you'll find a way to have patience with us (or at the very least, tolerate us). Your words, decisions, and actions all show a level of maturity that wasn't there just twelve months ago... in between the tears, that is.

School is going well, but it is another area of your life that is changing rapidly. You were recently reevaluated for learning disabilities and eligibility for services at school. You tested at least "average" for absolutely every test which is a huge change from three years ago. You "graduated" out of your Individualized Education Plan (IEP) which had you spending time with the writing lab teacher three times per week. Your teachers were thrilled with your progress. As a parent, I had mixed emotions. While I was excited and proud that you're doing so well in school, I have a little anxiety about losing the extra help. The resource teachers have been so wonderful in giving you the extra support you needed. It is a little hard to let go of that safety net even though all the teachers are confident you don't need it any more. You had mixed feelings about it as well. In the big picture though, I know this is a GOOD thing. It means you are meeting grade level expectations on your own, and that is huge. You have had a wonderful teacher this year, but unfortunately, she is moving over the Christmas holiday, and you'll have a new teacher when you return from break. That makes me a little anxious as well, but I have confidence that you'll keep working hard and succeeding.

The one subject we certainly never need to worry about with you is reading. You always have your nose in a book. Even if we just have a five minute drive somewhere, you make sure you grab a book before we leave the house, so you can read in the car. You have a fierce love of books, particularly the fantasy genre. You love Rick Riordin, Suzanne Collins, J.K. Rowling, and Brandon Mull. For Halloween this year, you had so much fun being Katniss Everdeen from the Hunger Games. It seemed so fitting that you chose a literary character. Books are your escape and your love. You are having a ball being a junior librarian this year at school. It is the perfect job for you.

The next big step in school is middle school. You and I toured one school together recently, and I have toured another on my own. After touring both, I felt strongly that the one you and I both saw was the better school for you. It is small, personable, and just gave me a good vibe. The other school was huge, chaotic, and felt like it would be easy to get lost in the crowd (literally and figuratively). It just didn't seem like a good fit. You want to tour both though to make your own decision, and I respect that. I'm just crossing my fingers that you'll come away with the same impressions that I did. We both really loved the first school, so I do know we agreed on that one.

Jump rope still plays a huge role in your life. You have practice 2-3 days per week and performances or workshops almost every weekend. You love it, and I cherish seeing the spark in your eyes as you talk about it and celebrate accomplishments. You chose to stay on the performance team this year instead of trying out for the competition team. As much as you love jump rope, I think you wanted to avoid the extra pressure that comes along with competition. That is probably a good choice for your personality. You love the fun of performances but don't have a very competitive nature. Jump rope is really a happy place for you. This year, you don't have a tight knit group of friends at school. You get along with people fine, but you don't have the close relationships you might like to have. You said to me one day, "One reason I love jump rope is that I feel like I fit in so well there. I have something in common with everybody, and I have so many friends there."  I can't think of anything more important than a group like that as you head into middle school. Regardless of the ups and downs of middle school social life, you know you'll have your jump rope friends by your side. That is priceless.

You are still involved with Girl Scouts although this year there seem to be a lot of scheduling conflicts between Girl Scouts and jump rope. Jump rope usually wins out. The troop is still important to you though, and I'm glad you're sticking with it. I think Girl Scouts can be another place for you to maintain good friends during the turbulent middle school years. Can you tell I'm just a wee bit anxious about middle school?  I'll try not to make you too nervous about it as I quietly gnaw on my fingernails off your first couple weeks of school.

Overall, I think you're in a good spot right now. You are coping well with the change all around you. You are holding your own at school and have found a hobby you love. You are growing and maturing rapidly. I have a feeling this year is just the beginning of a lot of change over the next few years, and I have no idea if your dad and I are ready for it. I think you are though.

Happy belated 11th birthday, Elise!

Love,

Mama

San Antonio, Part 1: Babies, Water Slides, Caves, and a Birthday

Our San Antonio trip was essentially divided into three separate trips in three different locations. That seems the easiest way to divide up my blog posts as well, so here is part one. We started off the trip at my aunt and uncle's house where the girls played in the pool with Texas-style pool toys - duck decoys and cap guns.

Then we had fun playing with our new sweet baby cousins. They are 8 months old, but this is the first chance we've had to meet them.

This picture makes me want a fourth. J.C. would never go for it though.

These little girlies crack me up. They couldn't be more different. One is a total tank, and the other is a petite little thing. Their personalities are total opposites too. Miss Chunk is clearly in charge.

Nina got hold of my camera and took this fabulous photo of my aunt with one of them. Nice, eh?

Of course, the very next shot was this lovely one of a worm in the garage. This is classic Nina.

From there, we headed North to New Braunfels, Texas. If you ever need a place to stay in New Braunfels, I highly recommend the Float Inn, a gorgeous condo on the Comal River. It was beautifully decorated, and the owner was such a nice hostess. This picture was taken on the balcony. Check out that blue water of the spring-fed Comal River!  We didn't do any tubing in the river on this trip, but the girls loved watching the tubers and paddle boarders go by.

The condo is directly across the street from Schlitterbahn which has been voted the world's best waterpark for 15 years in a row. It is truly amazing. I'm not sure I can even begin to explain it. There are three separate parks. Blastenhoff and Surfenburg are connected by the world's longest lazy river that runs between the two. It has an "aquaveyor" which is like a conveyor belt that takes you and your tube up hill. In Blastenhoff, there are uphill water coasters (The Master Blaster is the world's best water park ride) that are crazy fun. In the original Schlitterbahn section (which you can get to by tram), a lot of the rides are fed by water from the Comal River, and some of the rides dump you out in the river at the end. This video from the travel channel describes it all better than I can.

I didn't take many pictures at Schlitterbahn because without a waterproof camera, who has time for pictures?  You'll just have to trust me that we had a ball!

Schlitterbahn was Elise's eleventh birthday celebration. When we were completely worn out and waterlogged, we came back to the condo for birthday cake from Naegelin's Bakery, the oldest bakery in Texas. I loved the jump rope on it.

The next day, we had planned for another full day at Schlitterbahn, but it rained and rained and rained and rained some more. It never rains in South Texas, but apparently the one rainy day of the year was that day. (Note to self... never buy two-day amusement park tickets for the last two days the amusement park is open for the year without looking at the weather forecast first.) We were all disappointed but made the best of the day anyway. We headed down to the Natural Bridge Caverns. The tour was a bit too long for Addie's four year old attention span, but the rest of us all enjoyed it and learned a lot.

Stay tuned for the next installment where we head back down to San Antonio for part two of our Texas vacation!

A Girly-Girl 8th Birthday Party

In my recent blog post about Addie's birthday party, I listed my four rules for a successful birthday party. Let's see how I did with Nina's party.

1. Not in my house - check. We had it at a nail salon and restaurant
2. Small - check. Four girls plus Elise and Nina - the perfect size. We were limited by the six kid sized chairs in the salon, so there was no wiggle room on the guest list.
3. Not making the cake - check. I bought the same delish cupcakes that I bought for Addie's party.
4. No bags o' crap party favors. Hmmm... I may have gone off course a little on this one, but they weren't bad - just a lip gloss, a hair feather, nail polish, and a lollipop.

I loved seeing all their faces.

They were anxiously excited,

happy,

and perfectly relaxed.

They got manicures,

and pedicures

while watching videos in the massage chairs.

J.C. felt a little out of place, but he waited patiently

until we were all done.

After nails, it was time for lunch and cupcakes.

Check it out... the nail polish cupcake toppers doubled as part of the party favors!

Yum!

All said, it was a fun morning for these eight-going-on-sixteen year olds. Happy Birthday, Nina!

Move Over Bakerella, You've Got Competition!

Or, uh, maybe not. Nina received a cake pop maker yesterday for her birthday. We all had fun making and eating them, but somehow I don't think we'll be giving Bakerella a run for her money any time soon.

Bakerella:

House of Estrogen:

Nina came downstairs this morning and proclaimed, "Bakerella, we are not!"

Amen, sister.

Build-a-Bear Birthday Bash

Sometimes when I start to write a birthday party post, I get that nagging feeling that I'm somehow failing as a mommy blogger. I've never done a Royal Ball, an Alice in Wonderland Party, a Barnyard Party, or a Fairy Ballerina Party. There seems to be an unwritten rule in the mommy blogging world that birthday parties are required to be over-the-top at-home celebrations complete with a decadent dessert table, elaborate theming and personalized water bottles or lemonade in mason jars. (Click on those party links to see what I'm talking about.) I'm not sure how this trend started, but clearly there is a need to one-up everyone else in the blogging world when it comes to birthday parties. While I admire the creativity and effort put into these parties, I can't help but think, "You have GOT to be kidding me!!! Who has time for that? Do you have a life? What is the world coming to?" Seriously, when you are spending as much on a 2 year old's birthday party that most people spend on a wedding, there is something very, very wrong.

Or maybe I'm just jealous.

Anyway, when planning a party, I am the anti-mommy-blogger. I'm pretty sure I'm doing it all wrong, but it works for me. These are my rules for a successful non-blog-worthy party.

1. The party must not be in my house. I don't want kids in the house. I don't want parents in the house. I don't want to clean up the house in anticipation of the party. I don't want to clean up the house after the party. That is too much work. The party must be somewhere away from my house where someone else is in charge of decorating, entertainment, and clean up. Mommy bloggers everywhere are cringing as they read this. This goes against every fiber of their soul.
2. The party must be small. I don't need my kids getting birthday presents from 25 kids. We have too much crap in the house as it is.
3. I do not make the cake. I know how to decorate cakes. I used to be good at decorating cakes, but who has time for that?  Cakes will be store bought.
4. I do not give out "bags o' crap" party favors. I know other people suffer from the "too much crap in the house" syndrome as well, and they don't need junky dollar store goodies cluttering up their house any more than I do.

So, in keeping with my party rules, Addison had a Build-a-Bear party for her 4th birthday.

Invitations were sent via Evite. I give it a thumbs up for free, easy, and more likely to get an RSVP. A real mommy blogger would rather give up her dSLR than send an evite, but that's how I roll.

You know what though, Addie had a ball, and her friends did too. That's the goal right? Kids having fun? Or perhaps I missed an email about the goal.

They picked out bears,

and outfits,

and stuffed and groomed them.

J.C. got his baby fix by holding this little guy.

Of course, no House of Estrogen event is complete without an injury. Nina jumped up and bumped her head on a shelf. Poor kid.

It is pretty much impossible to get a picture of a bunch of 3-4 year olds without a lot of forced grins. Lovely.

After Build-a-Bear, we headed over to the food court for pizza and cupcakes. I'm pretty sure "food court at a birthday party" is mommy blogger code for "over my dead body". They are four though. What do they care if they have a juice box or mason jar?

My two nods to mommy blogging cuteness were the cupcakes and Addie's shirt. Of course, I can't take credit for either. Cupcake toppers were from Etsy seller Paper Owl Party Design.

Addie's shirt was by Etsy seller Criss Cross Creations. Nice scraped nose and goose-egg on her forehead, eh?

I think the party was a success. It was outside the house. There were only 5 guests. I didn't make the cake, and the party favors were the bears. Check, check, check, and check! Addie had a blast and had no idea that she should have been expecting personalized water bottles and color coordinated m&m's and lollipops. Score!

Happy Birthday Addison! May all your wishes come true.

 

 

 

Four... With Attitude