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Growing up in Texas was hot.... like really hot... as in I owned a T-shirt that stated, "I survived the 1980 Texas heat wave." That was the year we had 42 consecutive days with a high temperature over 100 and reached an all-time high of 113. I went to Girl Scout camp for a couple of summers on Lake Texoma (the lake breeze being the only thing that made those platform tents tolerable) until my mom declared it was simply too hot to go to camp in Texas. The next year, she started sending me to Camp Illahee in the mountains of North Carolina for five weeks each summer. That was back when unaccompanied minors on summer flights were the norm. It was pre-9/11 and before the advent of helicopter parenting, so kids flew alone to visit grandma, stay with cousins, or go to camp. I would hop on a flight in Dallas with 8-10 other kids heading to camp in North Carolina. We would fly to Charlotte where we would change planes for the short flight to Asheville. Looking back, I feel so sorry for the flight attendants (or I'm sure they were called stewardesses back then) on that flight from Charlotte to Asheville. Campers from all over the country converged in Charlotte, and then we all took that same flight to Asheville. Can you imagine being the flight attendant on a flight that was 90% unaccompanied minors? As you watched the baggage being loaded onto the plane, it was footlocker after footlocker after sleeping bag after duffel bag. They must have hated those flights.
I loved my summers at Illahee. I made friends who I still keep in touch with to this day. Don't I look like someone straight out of Hayley Mills' cabin in the movie The Parent Trap in my Sunday white uniform?
We wore whites on Sundays and blues on Saturdays and for trips out of camp. This photo was taken at the Biltmore.
Some of my fondest childhood memories are from camp - the hike up to Mount LeConte Lodge, rafting the Nantahala, organizing Surprise Day as a CIT, fried chicken and Biltmore ice cream for lunch on Sundays, the dances at the boys' camp, Camp Deerwoode, taking woodworking, weaving, riflery, synchronized swimming, diving, lifesaving, rappelling, and canoeing. When Addie asks me to sing to her at bedtime, she gets campfire songs from Illahee.
I always knew that if I ever had a girl, she would spend her summers at Illahee. Then... I grew up. I had not one but THREE girls, and discovered that the 3-4 week long sessions at Illahee are prohibitively expensive, especially times three. Also, sessions that long don't work out so well with a year-round school schedule. Neither our budget nor our schedule could make that dream happen, so off to Girl Scout camp they went. I'm not knocking Girl Scout camps. They are great for what they are - fun, affordable camps, with limited amenities and activities. My girls have enjoyed Girl Scout camp, but every year when we would drop them off or pick them up, I couldn't help but feel like they were missing out. It just isn't the same experience that you get at a bigger camp with a long history of traditions, (Illahee opened in 1921.) and campers who return to the same session year after year.
This year, we decided to try something different, Camp Cheerio, a YMCA camp. It has been around for 60 years, is priced about halfway between Girl Scout camp and Illahee, and seemed to offer the type of camp experience I had been wanting to find.
As we sat in the long line of cars to get into camp that first day with the windows open enjoying the cool mountain air, I think I was just as excited as Elise and Nina.
It all just felt right. We hadn't even gotten out of the car yet, and I knew they were going to have a great week.
Even the slide going into the lake looked just like the one at Illahee.
As we drove into camp we were greeted everywhere by counselors waving and yelling, "Welcome to Cheerio!" We got the girls checked into their cabins. (How cool are the bright colored footlockers these days? I don't think there was any option other than black when I was a camper.)
Pop culture decorating the cabin doors still seems to be going strong.. Ms. Pacman from the 80's to Taylor Swift now.
We dropped off their medicine, bought the requisite camp sweatshirts, hugged them good-bye, and left knowing they were going to have an amazing time creating camp memories to last a lifetime.
Every smiling picture we saw from camp during the week confirmed that they were having a ball.
The perfectly posed cabin photo even reminded me of the unit pictures we always took at Illahee.
I was feeling like I had finally found the perfect camp for my girls. Then Thursday came, a day that will sadly stick in the minds of many people for years to come. We got an email from the camp that evening that there had been a tragic zipline accident and a child had been taken to the hospital. By later that night, we saw on the news that the child had died. I can't even tell you all the feelings that were running through us that night... overwhelming grief for the family who lost a child, a heavy feeling in the pit of our stomachs that it could just as easily have been one of our girls, and worry for Elise and Nina - What had they seen? What did they know? Was this girl a friend or cabinmate? Did they need a hug from mom and dad? (We certainly needed one from them.)
When you send your child off to camp, you expect a few bumps and bruises, maybe a bee sting, sprained ankle or stitches. That comes with the territory of outdoor camp activity. I had to go to the hospital one year for stitches in my toe after a bizarre canoe accident at camp. You never in a million years though think that when you give your child a good-bye hug at their cabin that it is the last time you'll ever see them alive. I get overwhelmed just thinking about it.
On top of the fear, the grief, the anxiety, I had a much more trivial sad thought running through my head as well... "That camp seemed like everything I wanted for them, and now they will never want to go back."
We debated going straight to the camp the next morning to pick them up. We had visions of sobbing campers all over camp with parents rushing in to bring them all home. When I called the camp the next morning, that image couldn't have been further from the truth. I was told that if our children had witnessed the accident or had been a cabinmate of the child that we would have already been contacted directly. I was also told that camp was going on as usual with laughter, smiles, singing, and fun. Most of the campers didn't even know there had been an accident. Those that asked about it were told that she had been in an accident and had to leave camp but no more than that. Amazing. I had never been so grateful for the "no phones, no ipods, no electronics" camp rule. Despite the story being all over the news and social media, the camp was able to completely isolate the majority of the campers from knowing anything. Those young counselors are rock stars. The counselors had all been told Thursday night, but they put on a smiling face, and I suppose adrenaline kept them going.
Pick-up on Saturday was hard. All I could think about was that one family wasn't there picking up their daughter with the rest of us. I couldn't wait to see Elise and Nina, but I was on the verge to tears the whole morning. The camp program director and YMCA CEO greeted each car as we arrived at camp and answered any questions we had. We told them that we appreciated all their communication and felt like they had handled a horrible situation as well as they possibly could. We picked up the girls who were positively bursting with stories to tell us about all the things they had done at camp that week. Before we could even ask, they both declared that they were definitely going back next year.
Wow. Despite counselors and camp leadership likely in shock and grieving those last few days of camp, most of the campers were none the wiser. The week could have ended so differently for all those campers, but thanks to good decisions by the camp director and CEO, most of those campers had just as great a week as they have had any other year at Cheerio.
After about three hours of non-stop camp stories from Elise and Nina, Nina eventually told us that there had been a bad accident at the zip line. Sadly, two girls in Nina's cabin had witnessed the fall. Nina knew it was bad. She said one of the girls cried a lot and had counselors talking with her a lot (the camp had grief counselors there on site after the accident). Nina had definitely been affected by the accident and is still struggling with it to some degree, but the fact that it took three hours of non-stop talk before the subject came up tells me that the fun and adventures of camp overshadowed the sadness.
Later that evening, we told the girls the whole story, and we all shed some tears. Nina is still processing it all, but she is adamant that she wants to go to Cheerio again next year. She loved her time there.
I feel blessed, fortunate, and just plain lucky that our children came home from camp that week healthy and safe, but I feel like a little of my parent innocence has been lost. Those camp good-bye hugs will take on a whole new meaning in the future. Elise left for Costa Rica three days ago, and I think I hugged her and told her I loved her about 10 times between the parking lot and the airport. I'm pretty much holding my breath until their rainforest canopy zip line adventure is over. It is a little sooner than I'd like to have my child on a zip line again.
I'm thrilled that the girls had a great week at camp and that we have found a camp that reminds me more of my childhood camp memories. That was a hard week though, and my thoughts and prayers are still with the Burney family, the counselors who were working the zip line that day, the camp doctor and first responders, and the whole Camp Cheerio family.
"Making a decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."
~ Elizabeth Stone
It all started with this lovely leak in our kitchen ceiling.
We called our insurance company and got an estimate for fixing and painting the ceiling, and fixing and replacing the old, cracked, mildewed, leaking shower floor above it.
That was simple enough, but then it was like we plunged headfirst into the "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" book and couldn't get out of it. If you aren't familiar Laura Numeroff's books, one thing leads to another which leads to another which leads to another and so on. The progression makes for charming children's books; however, when adapted to home renovations, it gradually leads to bankruptcy.
When choosing new bathroom flooring, we couldn't help but think, "we should really get rid of all that dreadfully boring white tile in the shower at the same time...
and go for frameless shower glass too.
If we were having someone come in to do all that tile work anyway, it was a perfect time to get rid of the hanging shower caddy, right?
Sure, the insurance payment wasn't going to cover a dime of (not one, but two) custom built-in shower shelves, but you know... since it was all ripped apart anyway, it only made sense.
I never did like that white tile floor with the little black accent squares. And who was the genius who thought white grout was a good idea?
If somebody was going to be working on laying tile anyway, then obviously it was time to get rid of all the builder's grade white tile and replace it with travertine. Obvs.
Insurance was going to cover the cost of replacing the tile around the edge of the tub.
But you know... those big soaker tubs have always looked so inviting. Apparently, if you give a mouse a cookie, she's going to want a new bathtub to relax in while she eats it.
We initially planned on keeping the existing cabinets, countertop, mirrors, and lighting. The white would still go with all the new tile, and of all the things I have hated about this bathroom since we moved in, the light fixture was never one of those things.
So much for best laid plans. If you're going to spring for travertine floors, you gotta get the travertine counters to match, right?
And if your contractor is going to the trouble to build new cabinet drawer and door fronts (we did actually keep the existing cabinetry), then why continue to use the purchased-from-Target-20-years-ago medicine cabinet?
If you give a pig a pancake, he's going to have the contractor build a brand new medicine cabinet to hold his syrup.
Oh, and since the toilet had to be lifted up to replace the tile...
Then clearly, it needed to be replaced with a stronger flushing one with nice flat sides that don't collect dust.
So, it all started with a little insurance money to fix a leak in the shower floor, and it ended with a completely renovated master bathroom, a very modestly updated kids' bathroom, most of the upstairs painted, both stairwells painted, a new closet built in the office, new walls built in the playroom, new lighting in the playroom, and the entire downstairs ceiling painted. I think our poor contractor thought we were going to make him move in.
I have to say though, I'm very pleased with the transformation. From the sterile grey paint with the white tile, white tub, white counter, white floors, white sinks, white cabinets, white trim, and that horrendous white grout...
to our own little warm, inviting spa-like retreat.
Now we just have to figure out how to convince the insurance company that the little leak in the kitchen necessitated work being done all over the house. That shouldn't be too hard. Surely they have read "If You Give a Moose a Muffin", right?
Dear Nina,
I seem to have completely dropped the ball on writing letters to any of you on or near your birthdays. In the grand scheme of things though, it really shouldn't matter when I write these letters, as long as I write them once a year or so. At least I like to tell myself that. That said, you had a big milestone this week, so what better time to write a letter! Tuesday, you graduated from elementary school.
(First day of kindergarten picture)
You couldn't be more ready for middle school. At 5'7, you are now taller than every elementary school teacher you've had over the past six years. Not only have you physically outgrown the pint-sized chairs and desks, I think you have mentally moved beyond it and have just been ready for this chapter to come to a close.
After the ceremony, as friends in your class shed tears about their last day at the school and posed for pictures with every classmate, you eagerly held on to your diploma and exclaimed, "Can we leave now?"
It wasn't that you didn't enjoy your time there or aren't going to miss your friends who will be attending different middle schools. You had many happy years there and will definitely miss certain friends. You are ready to move forward though. You have seen what a great experience middle school has been for Elise, and you are excited about this next stage in life. You are ready for new friends, new challenges, and new experiences in a new school. For some of your friends, graduation day was an emotional day filled with sad goodbyes, reminders of elementary school memories and a slide show that tugged at their heartstrings. For you, it was simply the last hurdle to cross on the way to the finish line.
I am excited for you. I love that you are open to the new adventures that await you in middle school. As you love tell anyone who mentions middle school electives, your parents are making you take band next year. You love to point out what cruel parents we are to force this on you, but secretly, I think you may actually be looking forward to participating in band. You are such a music loving soul. You love to listen to music, find new songs on iTunes, and you thoroughly enjoyed playing the recorder in music class. Your one and only aversion to band is the stage appearance twice a year for the concerts. Your dad and I are taking the "we know what's best for you" role on this one. I predict that you will love it. Band has been such a positive part of middle school for Elise - the fun, the music, the band director, the friends, and the performances. We are hoping for a similar experience for you, and I think the many pros of band outweigh the cons of a little stage fright twice a year. How it all plays out remains to be seen though. We have assured you that if you hate it, you can drop out after the first year.
Right now, your major love is volleyball. You play any chance you get. Your goal is to be a manager for the middle school volleyball team in 6th grade and then play on the team in 7th and 8th. I think it is great that you've found a sport that you love. It is definitely a good fit for you.
Like band, volleyball was another activity we "forced" you to do. About a year ago, you had become rather sedentary. There weren't any activities, hobbies, or sports that interested you. We told you that you needed to choose something to do outside of school or we were going to choose something for you. You never made a selection, so without even asking you, I signed you up for volleyball. I didn't necessarily think you would love it. I wasn't even sure if you would like it. I just wanted you try something new. Of course, there was also that little overly optimistic voice in my head that said, "She has the height for volleyball... maybe she will love it, get really good at it, and get a scholarship." We are all allowed those pie in the sky parental dreams occasionally, right?
You played in a fall league for the team with the most losing record in the league. You lost every regular season game, but it hooked you. You had the time of your life. Last week, you started playing for a new summer league team which encompasses an older age group and higher skill level. I think you will grow and learn a lot as a player in this league. You plan to play in the fall again too. Volleyball has been great for you. It gives you a focus, an identity, a team spirit, and a great outlet for blowing off steam and getting some exercise.
Your other big interest lately has been sewing. You received a sewing machine for Christmas and have spent many hours designing, creating, and sewing. I think you enjoy the design aspect best. You are going to a week of fashion design camp this summer, and I'm anxious to see what you learn there. You have taken to doing a lot of "upcycling" - taking old worn out, outgrown, or out of style items from our closets and upcycling them into something new. This is one of your upcycled t-shirt creations.
I feel like this has been a big year for you... you have grown a lot, matured a lot, and really turned into the middle schooler that you soon will be. You have taken on more chores around the house and more responsibilities for taking care of yourself. If I need help putting Addie to bed or making her lunch, you jump right in. Of course, with this new tween maturity, we sometimes get the tween attitude as well. You have perfected a grimace that I have interpreted as a cross between, "I hate you", "You are the meanest parent ever", and "This is my evil look". Your glare with those piercing eyes can be a bit disconcerting. I'm hoping it is just a phase. Fortunately, you don't use it on us too frequently.
This coming year will bring a new school, new adventures, new friends, and lots of change. You seem wholeheartedly prepared and ready to tackle all of it though. And that... that is awesome.
I love you, Nina!
Love,
Mama
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