I thought my biggest Girl Scout obstacles this month would be counting change, keeping up with the cookie inventory in my garage, and finding good booth locations. Now, Indiana State Representative Bob Morris decided to add to my plate. According to his letter to lawmakers, the Girl Scouts are a radicalized organization that promotes the homosexual lifestyle, sexualizes young girls, encourages abortion, and is a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood. Morris believes that all Girl Scout role models are feminists, lesbians, or Communists.
Wah? How have I been involved in Girl Scouts since I was in first grade and never known this? Have I been living under a rock? And all this time I thought those camping trips were for fun, for girls gaining independence, and for bonding with friends. I guess I have been completely brainwashed by the Girl Scouts' radical agenda, and I didn't even realize it.
Well, heck. I try to be a good role model to the girls as cookie mom. While at booths, I teach them how to count change properly while handing out pro-choice pamphlets with the change. While going door-to-door selling cookies, I encourage good manners, looking people in the eye, and always saying thank you, especially to the homosexuals who buy cookies. I guess that makes me a feminist, lesbian, or Communist. Decisions, decisions! I'm fairly confident I'm not a lesbian. I suppose I could be called a feminist, but that sounds kind of boring compared to the other two. I think I shall be a Communist! Yes... a Communist I shall be. I will sell cookies while wearing my rainbow stripe t-shirt with "pro-choice" on the front and a hammer and sickle on the back. That's the Girl Scout way.
Anyone want to buy some Girl Scout cookies?
Was a Girl Scout for 10 years. While the camp staff I worked on was 2/3 lesbian (not kidding), there was no indoctrination. In fact, we actually taught conflict resolution skills to the girls. Oh wait... that was part of the Communist indoctrination. I guess I should look for the hammer and sickle hidden in the logo of our camp shirts.
We bought cookies last year for the PICU staff. Right now, I'm waiting impatiently for delivery on my 15 boxes (although 3-4 of them were donated to troops serving overseas).
Posted by: jen | Thursday, February 23, 2012 at 05:36 PM
I bet the PICU staff loved you!! I hope your cookies arrive soon! We're almost done delivering... just a couple more houses to go!
Posted by: Ann | Thursday, February 23, 2012 at 08:37 PM
they did. :) i've run into all the residents (except for the emergency medicine one) again in the last year (one is daniel's pediatrician) and she is an incredibly special person to us.
Posted by: jen | Friday, February 24, 2012 at 12:59 AM
Ann, given our families long history with the Girl Scouts, how did I miss knowing it was such a subversive group. Your grandmother, my mother was a Girl Scout leader for several years in the 1930's. I was a scout through high school, and a Girl Scout leader for several years as well. My sister Barbara worked as a counsellor at a Girl Scout camp in West Virginia and later for the Charleston, WV Girl Scout organization. What a shock to discover our whole family could survive such indoctrination.
Posted by: Joan J. | Friday, February 24, 2012 at 10:47 AM
In Canada they don't have "scouts" - it's Brownies and Girl Guides. Mostly the same - right down to the selling cookies. I will say though when I was in Brownies (which I believe I got kicked out of) we danced around a fake mushroom in the middle of a circle while singing about some bad ass fairies and pixies - perhaps some training for later drug use - but never a word about communism or lesbianism.
Posted by: Jodi | Friday, February 24, 2012 at 11:16 AM
Mom - I know! How did we miss the signs all these years?
Jodi - Girl Guides and Girl Scouts are both part of the same worldwide organization - WAGGGS - World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts. So, clearly your mushroom dance was some sort of cult ritual as part of the radicalized agenda of Girl Guides. Perhaps they weren't able to brainwash you well enough, so that's why you got kicked out.
Posted by: Ann | Friday, February 24, 2012 at 01:40 PM
Are you kidding me? Is this truth?
Posted by: Paige | Saturday, February 25, 2012 at 02:54 PM
Paige, I'm not sure if you're asking about my post or about Rep. Bob Morris' statements. My post was written in fun, just joking. Rep. Morris' statements were absolutely what he said and what he believes. You can click on the link within the post to read his letter to congress. Or this link goes to a CNN new article about it.
http://www.cnn.com/2012/02/22/election/2012/girl-scouts/index.html
Posted by: Ann | Sunday, February 26, 2012 at 12:25 AM
Gosh! Ann, if I'd known we were supposed to be lesbians we Girl Scout Camp Counselors wouldn't have been dating the counselors at the boys camp next to ours on the Greenbrier River in good old WEST-BY-GOD VIRGINIA. We missed our golden opportunity when we could have been dating the gals from the private girls camp nearby. I would have been spared getting married, having four children & being a Girl Scout leader & a Cub Scout Den mother!
Barbie
Posted by: Barbara Eldridge | Tuesday, February 28, 2012 at 11:51 AM
yeah, and just think I get to live in his state. Lord what an idiot. It just amazes me to hear the kinds of things people come up with.
My mom was a girl scout leader, I was in scouts thru senior scouts. I had no idea. sigh
Posted by: Michele | Wednesday, February 29, 2012 at 06:59 PM
Well, given that Girl Scouts have been around for generations, they're painfully slow and inefficient in their conversions. ha Funny post by you. Thanks for the laugh.
Posted by: SJ McCoy | Thursday, March 01, 2012 at 01:35 PM