House of Estrogen

Letter to Nina, 8 years

Dear Nina,

I'm a full two months late with your letter this year, but better late than never, right?  Some days, it is hard for me to believe that you are only eight. You are as tall as most of Elise's ten year old friends, but more than that, you are just so self-sufficient. Whether it is washing your hair, making your lunch, doing your laundry, or making breakfast for Addie, you rarely ask for help. You are independent, take care of yourself, and usually seem so much older than your eight years.

Then there are the times like a couple weeks ago when you called home in tears late at night from a sleep-over at a friend's house wanting to come home. Your allergies were bothering you, and you just wanted your own bed. That night, I was reminded that you are still just a little girl. As you got in the car sobbing, needing your mom, and needing a hug, you hardly even seemed eight. Those moments are fleeting. You are growing up so fast. I think those moments are good for us though... to remind us that there is still a little girl in there under the tall, slender, fashion-conscious, self-confident exterior.

School is going well, and you are so enthusiastiac about everything science related. You loved participating in the science fair this year and can't wait to go to science camp this summer. You spend hours quietly and patiently working on a "dinosaur dig" or science experiments at home. You tune out the rest of the world as you concentrate.

 

You are such a thinker and a problem solver. It makes me wonder what you will be when you grow up - an engineer? a pharmaceutical researcher? an archeologist? You love to solve puzzles. We took a family trip to Great Wolf Lodge last week, and you were more excited about the MagiQuest game than the water park. You spent hours running around the hotel with your wand trying to solve different quests. You were completely in your element.

Of course, I could be completely wrong about your future career. You love to design dresses and put on make-up. Perhaps you'll be a fashion designer, make-up artist, or stylist. You and I have a great time watching Project Runway together.

Outside of school, you are most involved in figure skating right now. You did skating for several months, skated in the holiday show (You were very hesitant about signing up for it but then had a blast), and then burned out. You did a couple months of gymnastics, but now you are back to skating.  You don't have any desire to compete yet, but you have so much fun with your friends at the rink. I think you love having an activity and group of people that are all yours. You jump out of the car in the mornings of ice skating camp and walk in there with your head held high and a spring in your step, knowing you belong. I don't know if or when you will decide you're ready to compete, but for now, you're just having a ball. I can remember feeling the same way about my rink friends when I was a skater, so I know exactly what you are getting from it... that sense of belonging and comaradarie. Enjoy it!

You are also still involved in Girl Scouts. You joined a new Brownie troop this year, and you seem to be enjoying it. You were very geared up about Girl Scout cookies this year and wanted to work a lot of cookie booths. I think your 400 box goal was a little higher than your energy level, but you did sell 300 and worked hard for them.

I'd say your biggest challenge right now is dealing with the ups and downs of friendships. Girl friendships at age 7-8 are tough, particularly when there are three of you on the same street. I remember Elise having all the same issues... the cliques, the hurt feelings, the frenemies. Fortunately, it gets better. You have a great group of girl friends, and if you can survive the catty 7-8 year old fights, your friendships will be even stronger. I grew up in a neighborhood with two other girls my age, and it was hard for me too. I promise it gets better.

Nina, you are a fun, funny, determined, passionate girl. I love you and can't wait to see how things unfold the next eight years.

Love,

Mama

Letter to Nina, 7 years

Dear Nina,

Happy (belated) seventh birthday! It seems with every birthday, you come out of your shell more and more. Gone are the days that you would stand on the sidelines of any activity for what seemed like an eternity before getting brave enough to join. I think elementary school has pulled some of that shyness and hesitation out of you. You seem so much more self-assured and outgoing now. I've loved watching the transformation.

 

I think I comment about your fashion sense in nearly every letter to you which may seem shallow or unimportant, but it is just such a part of who you are. You never leave the house without first accessorizing yourself from head to toe with necklaces, bracelets, hair clips, pins, scarves, belts, boleros, and boots. It is such a treat to see your choices each day.  I've gotten much more relaxed about letting you out of the house the way YOU want to be dressed. It is such a fundamental way that you express yourself. Your fingernails and toenails are always painted in shades of purple, blue, green, or hot pink. For your birthday, you only asked for three things: "diamonds, rubies, and pearls."  At least you have good taste in jewels!

 

You are currently trying to grow out your bangs. I'm so tired of seeing your hair in your face, but you are quite adamant about "long hair and no bangs." When you get your mind set on something, there is no changing it. You are stubborn, persistent, and unwavering in your decisions.  You'll be a strong woman one day.

 

Despite your initial enthusiasm with jump rope, in the last month or two, you have not been excited about the single rope part of class. You went so far as to fake an injury one week to get out of single rope. You whined, moaned, and complained about your ankle while sitting on the sidelines for the first thirty minutes of class. I was 90% sure you were either faking it or blowing a minor injury out of proportion, but nothing the coach or I would say could get you out there. I finally asked, "Are you going to jump when double dutch starts?" You said yes, and the minute the class switched over to double dutch, you were miraculously healed and jumped right in.  We decided together that it was time for a break from jump rope. You still jump quite a bit at home though, so I hope that one day you'll go back to lessons.

Your current favorite activity is playing Super Mario Galaxy 2 on the Wii with your dad. It certainly isn't the most educational, athletic, or creative endeavor you could have chosen, but the two of you have so much fun together. I think it is good for the middle child in you to have that special bonding time with your dad. It is hard competing to be "Daddy's little girl" with two other little girls in the family.

Your relationship with Elise is the same as always - best friends one minute, pushing buttons and fighting the next. Day to day, we never know what to expect from the two of you. You definitely seem to live at the extremes. I see glimpses of the kind of best friends you could be as adults though, so I have my fingers crossed for the future. With Addison, you have more of the good times, but the sibling rivalry with her is definitely beginning to rear its ugly head. I guess now that she is three, you have decided she is fair game for tormenting.

  

Nina, you have an infectious smile and laugh. You are growing up fast, but I am enjoying the ride. Keep being you!

 

Love,

Mama

 

Letter to Nina, 6.5 Years

Dear Nina,

I am a little late in writing this letter, but you are so easy going that I don't think you'll mind. Your disposition lets the little stuff just roll right off your back.

You started first grade last month, and you are loving it! Your enthusiasm about school is such a breath of fresh air. If only we could all be so cheerful about the day-to-day grind. Apparently, you are quite the flirt. I've had mothers or grandmothers of at least three boys come up to me to tell me how their sons are completely enamoured with you and plan to marry you. I'm not sure what your seduction tactics are, but they appear to be working. We are seriously scared of your teenage years!

Earlier this week, I saw two sandwiches in the refrigerator. I asked about them and was told that you had made them on Saturday morning for your and Elise's lunch boxes, not realizing it was a Saturday.  You definitely have a get-up-and-go philosophy in the mornings!

Your biggest focus right now is jump roping. It has been so fun to watch you find your passion. You have tried swimming, gymnastics, soccer, and dance, but none of those stuck. Jump rope has reeled you in like nothing else! You practice in all your spare time regardless of the temperature outside.

  

You have checked off 12 of 13 skills required to move up to the next level. Tonight in class, you had a look of determination like I've never seen before trying to master that last skill. With a beet red face and sweat dripping down your neck, you tried it again and again and again. I was so proud of your persistence. By the end of class, you hadn't gotten it yet, but I predict you'll be out in the garage every day this week working on it. By next week, you'll be marking off that last skill.

Double dutch is your favorite activity, but you love learning new tricks for single rope too. This week, you've been working on double-unders, full turns, and speed jumping. The smile on your face when you master a new trick makes my heart do a little jump roping of its own!

You've had some horrendous ear infections in the last few months. It is worrisome that despite the tubes, you are still getting ear infections. We keep hoping you'll outgrow them, but at this point, it isn't looking too promising. Fortunately, you're a good sport about wearing the doctor-mandated ear plugs and a swim cap in the pool.

 

A good family friend said to me recently, "Nina seems like she just has the world all figured out." I love the way she put that. I think it describes you perfectly. At six and a half, you have developed such a personality and confidence. You certainly have your moments of meltdowns, back-talking, and fighting with Elise, but for the most part, I think you have made a spot for yourself in the world and are quite comfortable there.

Thanks for being you, Nina!

I love you,

Mama

 

Letter to Nina, 6 years

Dear Nina,

The day you have been anxiously awaiting has finally arrived. You are six today. This last year has been a big one for you - finishing preschool, starting kindergarten, and learning the ins and outs of being an elementary school kid. It is a new world, but you have taken it by storm.

You leap out of bed every morning at least a half hour or hour before anyone else in the family, but you just fend for yourself, playing on the computer, watching TV, or fixing yourself some breakfast. You're very independent, and I think you truly enjoy having the quiet house to yourself each morning. Once Elise is awake, and you can go back in the room you two share, you are usually the first one dressed. As soon as Addie starts making noise, you bound into her room and get her out of the crib by dragging her over the railing. It looks as awkward as it sounds, but Addie doesn't complain. Then you head downstairs where you start packing your own lunch. I rarely make your sandwiches any more. You have taken ownership of that job. You remarked this morning that you couldn't believe how much better than Elise you were at spreading jelly when you are so much younger. Elise is lucky if she is fully awake and dressed before the bus arrives though, so she never has time to make her own lunch. You take pride in doing it all yourself, so you have much more practice in the art of jelly spreading.

School is going well. When I volunteered in your classroom this week, I got to read some of your journal - what a treat! I loved entries like, "My bst frnds are Emily and Riley bcuz tha are nis and buteful." and "I am going on a flit to Teksis."  Kindergarten suits you. The 100th day of school was last week, and you had very definite plans on the design for your 100th day T-shirt. You are decisive... always knowing exactly what you want, down to the last detail. 

 

You played soccer this fall and seemed to have a good time. I think you may play again in the spring. You begged for over a year to take ballet. I finally signed you up for a 4 week session to see how you liked it, and that was enough for you! You had fun, but ballet definitely wasn't your thing. Some day I'm sure you'll find a sport or activity that you love, but I have no idea what that will be.

 

You have joined a Daisy Girl Scout troop this year and love finally being able to do all the Girl Scout activities you've watched your sister do for the past three years. You were so proud the first time you donned the blue Daisy vest. You had high aspirations for your first year of cookie sales with a lofty goal of 900 boxes. You were absolutely determined to win the digital camera; however, you quickly grew weary of cookie sales after about 125 boxes. Hopefully you'll be happy with the highlighter award instead.

 

Behavior and discipline continue to present the biggest challenges for your dad and me. You are a middle child to the core!

A few weeks ago, I discovered some opened foil pill packets on your bathroom counter with the chewable pills nowhere in sight. I yelled for you and Elise to come talk to me about it. Elise quickly denied having anything to do with the pills while you gave me a sheepish grin and said nothing. Your dad and I launched into a huge lecture about how dangerous it was to take medicine on your own, how you could have ended up in the hospital, how you knew you weren't supposed to take medicine without a grown-up, how if you had gotten sick, we wouldn't have known what was wrong, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??? and on and on. You sat there and smirked as if it was all a big joke. That just got you in trouble, and we started piling on the punishments in an effort to make you realize how serious the situation was. Through all of this, you never said much. You just clammed up and took all that we doled out. Finally, your dad was determined to find out what prompted you to eat the pills. He told you that he promised you would not get in any more trouble than you were already in if you told us why you had done it. You ran to your room, climbed up in the top bunk and started looking for something. We had no idea what you were looking for, but you eventually said you were searching for a small lotion container. We couldn't imagine what that had to do with the pills you had eaten. Did you chase the pills with a bottle of lotion? When you finally found it, the small container of normally white Lubriderm was now a small container of pink and purple swirled Lubriderm. You hadn't actually eaten any of the pills. They had been your dye to decorate the lotion... quite clever, actually. We were still angry that you had played with the pills at all but clearly relieved that you hadn't ingested them. When we asked if there were any that had been dropped or left out anywhere, you exclaimed, "only in the little blue box!"  Little blue box... that would be the RAZOR SHARP pill cutter you had used to cut the pills to fit them in the lotion bottle! My five year old plays with razor blades and pills... every mother's dream.  What a night that was. Our emotions ran the gamut from being furious that you had taken pills, to scared out of our minds at how serious this could have been, to relieved that you hadn't eaten any, to impressed at your ingenuity, to scared out of our minds again about the years ahead of us. You challenge us in ways we never could have imagined.

 

When I got my new car, you were the first one to christen it as a mom-mobile. You wrote on one of the seats with lip gloss. Awesome. Thanks.

You and Elise continue to have a love-hate sister relationship. One day you'll spend the entire morning together concocting some elaborate role play with dolls, and the next day, you'll both be screaming at the top of your lungs, "I wish you weren't my sister!!" while kicking each other.

You can always find a way to make Elise cry, and that thrills you to no end. Last night, you accomplished your goal by saying, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit" after refusing to give Elise any ice in her water. You were right there at the ice and water dispenser, but torturing your sister by depriving ice was just too satisfying. The fighting makes me insane, but it also makes me thankful for the good times.

 

Your fashion sense may send me to an early grave. I try so hard to let you express yourself with your clothing, but there are times I just have to stand my ground. Yesterday, you came out of your room in a really cute skirt outfit - a coral top with a coordinating coral, off-white, and olive green plaid skirt. It was a great set, but you had complemented it with a pair of bubble gum pink tights that clashed horribly. You were insistent about the tights, but I just couldn't let you out the door like that. I finally convinced you to wear off-white tights, but I caved on the matching tall coral fringe boots. I had won the battle of the tights, so I let you win the shoe battle. Off you went to school in your cute, preppy, plaid Gymboree outfit and your psychedelic light-up sneakers designed by some 60's hippy dropping acid. You definitely know how to make a statement.

You keep us on our toes, Nina. I love you, and I can't wait to see what comes along with age six!

Love,

Mama

Letter to Nina, 5.5 years

Dear Nina,

In the span of just a couple short months, you have changed and grown up at a pace that I haven't seen since you were a newborn. Besides starting kindergarten, you have learned to swim, learned to dive, learned to tie your shoes, and you carry yourself with a new found confidence.

Your face lights up when you talk about kindergarten. Every day, when you come home from school, and I ask you how your day was, you exclaim, "Great!" I can tell you really mean it too. You are soaking it all up and loving it. Every new experience lights another fire in you - riding the bus, eating in the cafeteria, buying your lunch, going to music, art, PE, and the library, playing on the playground, sitting criss-cross-applesauce, and walking down the hall "hip and lip". I feel like I'm getting to experience the wonder of kindergarten all over again through you.

 

Of course, you have a new crush already. You came home the first week and told us with a twinkle in your eye, "C looks like A." We knew then that C was the new man in your life. Today, you bragged to Elise that C blew you a kiss in the cafeteria!

Robert Fulghum wrote the book, "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten", and I'm beginning to think it is true. You are learning so much so fast that it just blows my mind. (As a somewhat interesting but mostly unrelated side note, the marriage vows your father and I took at our wedding were also written by Robert Fulghum).

Just this week, you learned to tie your shoelaces, and you have completely converted from being a flip flop girl to a sneaker girl in your excitement about tying your own laces. You're just beaming every time you do it.

Learning to swim has been your big accomplishment for the summer. Last summer, we had to twist your arm to get you to jump off the side. Now, you're diving in and swimming down to touch the bottom. I feel like you're a completely different child at the pool now that you know how to swim. I think you are proud of your new skills, and it shows through in your self-confidence.

 

As Addison gets older, she becomes more and more your little buddy. You really thrive in the role of big sister. Sometimes enthusiasm gets the best of you, and you love on her a little too hard. Mostly, though, you are very sweet, loving, and protective of her.

 

 

You continue to make me smile and laugh daily. This evening, we were talking about snakes... about someone in the pediatrician's office who had been bitten by a snake, about a snake your dad had seen on a bike ride, about how snakes shed their skin, and so on. I suppose you were wanting to join the conversation with your own snake knowledge, so you jumped in with, "Dad, snakes are not at all like koala bears." as if this fact had somehow escaped him. I love it!

 

I can't wait to see how the rest of kindergarten goes for you. You have more new experiences lined up for the next couple of months - your first track-out camp and your first real soccer team. I hope it all continues to be as fun and exciting as the last couple months have been. I just know this is going to be a great year for you!

I love you. Thanks for reminding me how wonderful life can be! Watching life through your eyes adds a whole new dimension to mine!

Love,

Mamma

Letter to Nina, 5 Years

Dear Nina,

 

Five years – what a great age! After weeks of asking the all-important questions, “How many days ‘til my birthday?”, “How many days ‘til my party?”, and “How many days ‘til we can get the High School Musical 3 DVD?”, you looked a bit shocked and incredulous when I told you happy birthday this morning. You quickly got over the surprise though and moved on to full bore excitement. You went running to the bus stop yelling, “I’m five today! I’m five today!” with a smile on your face and a spring in your step. This afternoon, we had your classroom party for which you did all the planning… a craft accompanied by Oreos – double chocolate Oreos and mint Oreos. You also dictated your birthday dinner menu, “macaroni and cheese, meatballs, and pizza.” I did a slight variation on that with a little broccoli thrown in for good measure, but that seemed to suffice. You always have strong opinions and aren't shy in expressing them.

 

 

You are the child who takes me to extremes. You make me smile and laugh like nobody else in one minute, and in the next, you are painting your doll with fingernail polish or dragging your baby sister around the house by her feet.

 

Your sense of humor is priceless… it isn’t always what you say, but more often your tone, voice, or delivery. You definitely make us laugh every day. This past weekend, while we were out for breakfast, you got up to retrieve a straw, and upon returning to the table announced with a grin, “I jollied right back here just like a little elf!” I don’t know where you come up with this stuff, but it makes me smile.

 

 

Your mischievous side will be the death of me though. Last week, you were coaxing Addie to climb the stairs saying, “Come on Addie… up here! Come on up the stairs!” When I rescued Addie and said, “Don’t encourage her to go up the stairs. She isn’t good at stairs yet, and she could fall and get hurt.” You replied, “I didn’t do that.” “Uhh yeah… you did. I heard you say, ‘Come up here.’” Then you sheepishly responded, “I didn’t think you heard that.”  Nice.

 

 

The doll painting episode will probably forever be seared in your brain as “the time that mom got really, really insanely mad.” I figure that’s not entirely a bad thing though. I very clearly remember the time when I tried the bold faced move of telling my parents that I would swallow some foul tasting medicine if they left the room and didn’t watch. The bright pink syrup left as evidence in the white porcelain sink exposed my brilliance, and that was the day my dad got really, really insanely mad. I still remember that day. Maybe you’ll look back on this day and just realize that your mom was human. We all blow a gasket occasionally, and that’s OK as long as we pick up the pieces.

 

This year will bring a lot of change in your life - starting kindergarten, riding the bus, and going to track-out camp. You are both excited and nervous, but I know you'll do great. Transitions have always made you anxious, and perhaps always will, but I know you're ready for kindergarten and will love it!

 

Thanks for all the laughs, Nina! Happy 5th Birthday!

 

Love, Mamma

Happy 4th of July! (Yeah, I know... I'm late)

OK... so I'm a little late with the 4th of July well-wishes, but in the weeks leading up to the 4th, I turned this house upside-down looking for this dress for Addie. I knew I hadn't sold it or given it away, but Independence Day came and went without my locating the dress. Wanna guess when I found it? Uh yeah... July 6. So, even though I'm running about a month late with the photo, better late than never, right?

Here is Addie in all her stars and stripes glory!

  

And here are Elise and Nina sporting the same dress in 2002 and 2004

 

Letter to Nina, 4.5 years

Dear Nina,

Lately, it seems like you grow up a little more every day. You're coming out of your shell and finding your place in the world, and I love watching it all unfold. You have such a fun personality, and we never know quite what to expect next. You definitely keep us on our toes.

 

You go back and forth between being the shy little kid who is too nervous to participate in anything to being a funny, daring, gregarious spirit ready to try something new with gusto. A year ago, you did soccer. Each week, the first half the practice was consumed with your watching from the sidelines or glued to the coach. This year, I took you to your first gymnastics class, and you jumped right in, trying out every apparatus and having a ball! From day one, you were up on the full height balance beam, walking across with toes pointed, stepping over cones! The smile across your face was priceless.

Being a big sister really suits you. You adore Addison and are so proud to be her big sister. You love to talk to her, sing to her, feed her, hug her, and make her laugh. As much as you like to torment your big sister, you are really quite sweet to your younger sister!

  

You are such a morning person. I, very definitely, am not, and If I hadn't actually pushed your body out of mine, I might not believe you were my child. We're never sure how the day will start when you come in our room in the morning. Often, you come in dressed from head to toe in princess or ballerina attire wanting the bows tied on your ballet slippers. Other days, you come in completely dressed for school wanting help with a button or hairbow. A couple days ago, you came in stating, "Somebody wrote on something… before we moved here… before we lived in this house, they wrote on something, so I've been cleaning it with a sponge and soap and water, but I can't get it clean."  I've really got to find a way to harness all your morning energy to put it into something useful. As soon as you're old enough to do laundry, you can bet that's how you'll be spending your mornings! As it turns out, you were attempting to clean the top of a box of blocks that you had previously written all over (as opposed to the "somebody who lived in our house before us"). You had made a huge mess, but you sure thought you were being helpful. By the time we get downstairs in the mornings, you have typically fixed yourself breakfast, turned on the CD player, sung several High School Musical songs into your microphone and had at least 2-3 wardrobe changes.

On the topic of wardrobe… your sense of style may be the death of me. I'm starting to believe that you are purposefully trying to torture your mother as payback for all the years of matchy-matchy outfits and hairbows and too many matching sister sets. I promise I'm trying to scale back on that, but you seriously may give me a full-on panic attack one day with one of your combos!  You pick out the "prettiest" shirt and the "favorite" skirt with no regard for whether or not the two share any colors in common. I try to hold back my aghast and let you express yourself, but do you have to make it so difficult? Seriously, you put together some real doozies!  You definitely got your sense of style from your father, or at least my plan is to blame it on him.

  

(Excuse the greasy looking face in that first photo. That's how the independent you applies sunscreen. Not a single ray of sunshine can reach your face after you've applied sunscreen in the morning!)

Disciplining you remains one of our biggest challenges. You are smart, savvy, and know how to work the system. If we put you in time-out, you just sit there with a look on your face like, "I love sitting on the stairs. This is exactly how I planned to spend my afternoon."  If we threaten to throw away toys that haven't been put away, you respond with "Yeah, yeah... do that. Throw away the play-doh.", and then you truly don't seem to mind when I do. I have to be careful with my threats so I don't find myself throwing out a really pricey toy. Typically, threatening loss of TV priveleges works better than anything else with you. That seems to be the one threat that works at least most of the time. Even that isn't foolproof though. A few nights ago, after having told you to get back in bed at least 4 times, I threatened that you would lose your TV priveleges the next day if you got out of bed once more. You walked down the hall a few minutes later, came to me and said, "Mom, I want to cancel TV tomorrow because I have to tell you something." You definitely like to be the one in control. I was guessing that by the next morning, you would have forgotten completely about our conversation and then been crushed when I told you no TV, but the next morning, you got up saying, "Mom, remember... I lost my 'priveges'?" You're very calculating at times. If a warning has been issued, I can almost see the wheels turning in your head weighing your options, "If I hit Elise, I won't get to go to the pool. I really want to hit Elise, but I love to swim. You know what?... I can always go to the pool tomorrow instead." WHACK! We're forever trying out new methods for discipline, but you always seem to outsmart us and win in the end. If you're doing this at 4, I don't even want to contemplate the teenage years!

Bedtime is a source of contention between you and us. You get out of bed several times before finally going to sleep, and the frustrating part is that you are smart enough to think up really good excuses every time you get up. It is hard to be mad at you when your knee is bleeding and you're clearly in need of a bandaid, even if we do suspect that you cleverly picked the scab off for that very purpose. Tonight, you were a bit wired, so your dad was worried we would have to deal with even more than the usual number of excursions from bed. He came up with this brilliant way to tire you out.

 

 

You put a smile on my face every day, Nina. Happy 4 and a half birthday! I love you!

Love,

Mamma