House of Estrogen

From a Disgruntled Cookie Mom

Dear Parents of Girl Scouts who have never been Cookie Moms,

When you get an email from the cookie mom begging and pleading for volunteers to work a booth because there are still troop cookies to get rid of, don't reply back with "X is done selling cookies this year."  It is not the responsibility of the cookie mom to sell all troop cookies. It is the responsibility of the whole troop. If the troop doesn't sell all the cookies, then the troop eats all the profits, literally. Just because you want to be "done" doesn't mean you get out of helping the troop get rid of troop cookies.

When you see the cookie mom at the mall working at a cookie booth because your daughter is "done" and the cookie mom has had to drag her own daughter out there to work yet again, don't say, "Oh! I didn't know we had a booth out here today."  That just tells the cookie mom that you didn't read her email begging for people to work the booth. She'll likely get really pissed off when you don't read her emails. It is disrespectful.

When you call the cookie mom from a booth and say, "Where is Mr. X with the cookies?", and she tells you, "Didn't you get the email saying that the booth was starting at 12:30 instead of 12? Mr. X should be there by 12:30", don't say, "Oh, uh, I don't know."  Again, that just tells the cookie mom you didn't read her email. It pisses her off, and you don't want to piss off the cookie mom. Otherwise, you might get stuck with the job next year.

When you actually read an email from the cookie mom begging people to work booths and you respond with, "Can't you just transfer the cookies to other troops?", to the cookie mom, that comes across as, "What, are you stupid?" especially when she spent the night before driving to three different houses all over town transferring cookies to other troops.  It isn't that easy. Toward the end of cookie sales, every troop is looking to offload the same cookies. Nobody wants the Peanut Butter Sandwiches and Shortbreads you have in stock. They want the Thin Mints and Caramel Delights.

If you're a troop leader, don't go out of town the first two weeks of cookie sales. That just puts more pressure on your already frazzled cookie mom. If you don't go out of town, you won't tear your ACL skiing and won't have to have surgery the last week of cookie sales which stresses out your cookie mom even more.

When the cookie mom shows up with a car full of cookies at the Girl Scout meeting to give everybody the additional cookies they ordered, when she asks you, "So, what did you need?", don't look at her like she is stupid and say, "Remember? I sent you that email asking for two boxes of Peanut Butter Patties?"  NO! she does not remember. It was one of the 87 cookie related emails she has read in the last 2 days, most of which were about ordering, transferring, or trading some number of cookies. She did not memorize your order. Just politely tell her what you need.

For the few of you who do read and respond to cookie mom emails and help out with booths the last week of cookie sales, you are a rare breed, and cookie moms everywhere love you and appreciate you.

Signed,

Disgruntled Cookie Mom

Feminist, Lesbian, or Communist?

I thought my biggest Girl Scout obstacles this month would be counting change, keeping up with the cookie inventory in my garage, and finding good booth locations. Now, Indiana State Representative Bob Morris decided to add to my plate. According to his letter to lawmakers, the Girl Scouts are a radicalized organization that promotes the homosexual lifestyle, sexualizes young girls, encourages abortion, and is a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood. Morris believes that all Girl Scout role models are feminists, lesbians, or Communists.

Wah?  How have I been involved in Girl Scouts since I was in first grade and never known this? Have I been living under a rock?  And all this time I thought those camping trips were for fun, for girls gaining independence, and for bonding with friends.  I guess I have been completely brainwashed by the Girl Scouts' radical agenda, and I didn't even realize it. 

Well, heck. I try to be a good role model to the girls as cookie mom. While at booths, I teach them how to count change properly while handing out pro-choice pamphlets with the change. While going door-to-door selling cookies, I encourage good manners, looking people in the eye, and always saying thank you, especially to the homosexuals who buy cookies.  I guess that makes me a feminist, lesbian, or Communist. Decisions, decisions!  I'm fairly confident I'm not a lesbian. I suppose I could be called a feminist, but that sounds kind of boring compared to the other two. I think I shall be a Communist!  Yes... a Communist I shall be. I will sell cookies while wearing my rainbow stripe t-shirt with "pro-choice" on the front and a hammer and sickle on the back.  That's the Girl Scout way.

Anyone want to buy some Girl Scout cookies?

Cookie Mom Humor

The job of Girl Scout Cookie Mom isn't one I would ever characterize as "fun", "enjoyable", or "full of laughs".  Better descriptions would be "time sink", "mind-numbing", or "pit of despair". I took this video tonight, then watched it and realized how totally pathetic my life as a Cookie Mom is. Check out the way I laugh at about 0:41. This is about as exciting as life gets during cookie season.

M.I.A.

A Break from Cookies

We still have one more week before the end of the cookie sale, but Elise's troop decided to take a much-needed break from cookie booths this weekend. They signed up for the Scouting Out Tryon Palace Girl Scout event in New Bern, NC.  I agreed to go along as a chaperone. Younger Girl Scout sisters were invited as well, so I brought Nina along. I always seem to sign up for these events thinking they sound fun at the time. Then, as the date approaches, I start to dread the long drive, squealing girls, inevitable squabbles, and lack of sleep. I always end up having fun though, so I need to get over the dread. This trip was no exception. The drive was long, the girls squealed and fought, I didn't get much sleep, but we all had fun.

 

I think I have been to New Bern once before, but I had never visited Tryon Palace. It is the original governor's palace for the state of NC and dates from the 1700's. New Bern is North Carolina's second oldest town, the birthplace of Pepsi-Cola, and just generally a charming, quaint little town on the waterfront.

The girls toured the palace

 
 

and gardens.

 

They made butter,

 

toilet water ("ewwww!!!", they all exclaimed until they found out it was perfume!),

 

and sewing kits.

 

They learned what life was like for girls in the late 1700's and early 1800's. They played games from the time period,

 

and learned how to write with a quill.

 

 

After a long, tiring day, we drove to Washington, NC, to the Girl Scout camp, Camp Hardee where we spent the night. Camp Hardee, on the bank of the Pamlico River, is so pretty and peaceful. One of the girls who had been to summer camp there previously said that dolphins swim by every day about noon. The girls were up past midnight, of course, and the "mattresses" were as thin as cardboard, but I somehow managed to catch a few winks. With all the time and energy I put into cookie sales, it is nice to see and use the camps that are paid for with cookie money. It helps remind me that all the cookie stress and burden goes to a good cause!  Now I just need to keep telling myself that over and over for another week until we are done!

Too Many Cookies, Too Little Blogging

It's February. <Sigh> Most people think Valentine's Day, snow, skiing, or Leap Year when they think of February. In the House of Estrogen, February means one thing... Girl Scout cookies.

It means firemen losing their fire station for a day,

 

trucks parked outside, gear hanging on hooks,

 

so that 9000+ cases of Girl Scout cookies could take over the fire house.

 

Aren't firemen the best?  Not only do they fight fires, save people from burning buildings, and rescue kitties from trees, but they load Girl Scout cookies too! 

 

February means our cars no longer fit in the garage.

 

February means our weekends are spent delivering cookies

 
 

or working at cookie booths.

 

February definitely does NOT mean blogging. When the cookies are gone, and my life is returned to me, I'll be back. In the meantime, let me know when you are running low on Thin Mints... I've got you covered.

 

 

2010 Girl Scout Cookie Sales in Numbers

0 - number of moms in the troop who have volunteered to take over as Cookie Mom next year. Sigh.

1 - number of nights Elise's troop will stay at the Great Wolf Lodge on the trip they are paying for with their cookie money.

2 - a.m. - how late I stayed up the night before all the final cookie money and paperwork was due, working with the troop leader at her house, trying to finalize everything.

3 - minimum number of pounds I likely gained through cookies alone.

4 - number of cookie pick-ups from the cookie warehouse.

5 - number of times we went by one neighbor's house trying to deliver the cookies they ordered. There were at least 1-2 cars in the driveway each time. On the fifth visit, we could hear footsteps in the house. We knew they were home. I called them a minute later and said, "Hi, you ordered Girl Scout cookies from my daughters. We've tried to come by several times to deliver but haven't caught you at home. Is it OK if we come by in about 5 minutes?" The person who answered the phone said yes. When we went by a few minutes later, they again chose not to answer the door. Gotta love that neighborly kindness and respect. We gave up. We took one of their boxes to our new next door neighbor who just moved in a few days prior, and we ate the other.

18 - number of cookie transfers I did with other troops

19 - number of booths Elise's troop held, most of which I had to schedule, staff, provide cookies for, and count money after.

27 - minimum number of hours of sleep I need to catch up on sleep.

96 - combined number of Ibuprofen, Tylenol, Hydrocodone, Valium, and Ketorlac pills I took over the past few weeks for the muscle spasms in my neck and shoulder that seem to have miraculously gone away at the same time cookie sales ended. Coincidence? I think not.

180 - boxes of cookies Nina sold.

272 - boxes of cookies Elise sold.

278 - number of checks deposited from payments to Elise's troop.

320 - average number of boxes of cookies sold by each girl in Elise's troop.

374 - boxes of cookies that will be delivered to the U.S. armed forces in Iraq and Afghanistan through donations collected by Elise's troop.

1625 - boxes of Thin Mints sold by Elise's troop - more than all the Daisy Go Rounds, Lemonades, Thanks-a-lots, and Peanut Butter Sandwiches combined.

 

5772 - boxes of cookies sold by Elise's troop

$3,174.60 - amount of money Elise's troop earned through cookie sales this year.

$20,202.00 - amount of money collected by Elise's troop for cookies sales this year.... staggering, isn't it?

$287,000 - what the Cookie Mom's salary should be... too bad it is a volunteer gig.

Now... I'm off to eat a few more cookies and then catch up on sleep!

Behind the Scenes

Last year, I gave you a glimpse into the world of a cookie mom on cookie delivery day. This year, I thought I would take you a little further behind the scenes in the secret life of a Girl Scout cookie.

Before heading to the cookie pickup location, there was a little prep work that needed to happen at home.

J.C. was not at all amused that our driveway was the only one in the cul-de-sac that needed shoveling. How does that happen, anyway? I don't know what our liability insurance covers for accidents caused by idiot homeowners who don't shovel their driveways when they are going to have people trudging 300+ cases of cookies up and down the driveway all day. We didn't want to find out, so J.C. spent his morning cursing and shoveling the one snowy driveway in the neighborhood.

Of course, there was the all-important cookie delivery day attire to be donned prior to the big event.

Once everything was set at home, I was off for my rendezvous with some cookies. I met up with the four other vehicles from our troop, and we caravanned over to the fire house. This was our view from outside the fire house waiting our turn.

Once we pulled in, the volunteers got busy loading (check out that gorgeous shiny new car o' mine!)

 

Mountain of Thin Mints, anyone?

They had us loaded in minutes, and then it was back home where the stash in my garage was feeling seriously inadequate compared to those stacks in the fire house.

 
 
It all looked so neat and tidy until we separated them out into each girl's order. Sidewalk chalk is my friend.

 
 
Three days later, my garage was empty save a few lone boxes of Daisy-Go-Rounds and Peanut Butter Sandwiches. We're gearing up for another weekend of booths though, so I have been loading up with transfers from other troops.

I will be glad when they are all gone, and I can take a nap.  Yawwwwnnnnn.... 

I think I may need to retire from this cookie mom gig. I'm wiped out.

 
 

Poor Neglected Blog

I like to blog.

I want to blog.

I'm too tired to blog.

It is February. The cookies have taken over my life. Bear with me.