House of Estrogen

A Little Levity

This blog has been a bit heavy lately... too much crappola in life weighing it down. I figured there is nothing like a good Nina story to lighten the mood though, so here is one from last week.

3 a.m. one night, Nina came into our room complaining her belly was hurting. We asked the usual questions: "Do you need to use the bathroom?", "Do you feel like you're going to throw up?"  She answered no to both, so J.C. suggested she go downstairs and eat a couple of crackers to settle her stomach. That would never fly with Elise, but Nina is a kid who is perfectly willing to go downstairs alone in a dark quiet house in the middle of the night.  A few minutes later, I heard her yelling from downstairs, "MOM! I need help!!"  In my groggy 3 a.m. state, I yelled back, "What's wrong?"  She yelled, "I didn't know it was dye, but it was dye. I need help!"  Huh?  I lumbered downstairs to find her sitting on the toilet examining her now red and green hands. "Why are your hands red and green?", I asked. She said, "I didn't know it was dye. It was dye, and I can't get it off. I tried washing my hands, and it won't come off." to which I responded, "But you were down here TO GET CRACKERS!!!!"  I have no idea what possessed her to start playing with food coloring at 3 a.m., but there she was with red and green hands. Classic Nina.  I told her that I needed my sleep, and that if she couldn't get it off with soap and water that I would help her in the morning. I was not about to waste my valuable sleep time figuring out how to clean food coloring off skin in the middle of the night. She started to cry saying, "But if I go to school with red and green hands, then the kids will laugh at me."  My 3 a.m. self had no sympathy because I responded, "THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN PLAYING WITH FOOD COLORING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!"

As parents, we try hard to put rules in place... "Look both ways before crossing the street", "Ask to be excused and clear your place after dinner", Pens are only for writing on paper, not walls or furniture", but I never imagined I would need the rule, "Don't PLAY WITH THE FREAKING FOOD COLORING at 3 a.m. when you are supposed to be eating crackers"!   I guess I'll add that one to the list. Who knew?

Look Like Brains

I took the girls out to breakfast this morning. When we got home, J.C. asked Nina, "What did you have for breakfast?" Nina responded, "An apple fritter." He asked, "What is an apple fritter?" She said, "It looks like a brain... but without the blood. It doesn't taste like brains though. It tastes like dessert."

Maybe that should be Caribou Coffee's new ad campaign - "Apple fritters - look like brains, taste like dessert!"

Bed Fridge, Anyone?

As we pulled up to one of our usual beach restaurants tonight, Elise exclaimed, "Hey! I remember this place! They have a train that goes around the ceiling, it is near the pier, and mom got a grown-up bed fridge here!" 

Hmmm... what bed fridge should I get? A margarita? A daiquiri?

Language Lessons

Elise: K was my reading buddy today. She speaks Spanish and hasn't been speaking English for very long, so when I needed to talk to her, R [an Indian friend] always had to help me.

Me: Oh wow... so R speaks Spanish?

Elise: <with the sassy look and tone of a seven year old saying "Duh!"> Uhhh... yeah.... she's from India!

Let the Punishment Fit the Crime

As overheard in the House of Estrogen this evening...

Nina: "DADDDDDDD!!!!!  Elise almost broke my ankle!!"

J.C.: "She *almost* broke your ankle?"

Nina: "Yes! She almost broke my ankle!"

J.C.: "OK. Let me know when she really breaks your ankle."

(a few minutes later)

Nina: "DADDDDDDD!!!!  Elise almost kicked me!!"

J.C.: "So, what do you think the punishment should be for almost kicking?"

Nina: "I don't know."

J.C.: "Elise - go get almost in time out!"

The Boob Purse

I recently bought this new purse (same as pictured, but mine is a mustard color). Nina pointed at it and exclaimed, "Mom! breasts!" to which I responded, "Huh?" Then she said, "Look, the pockets look like your breasts!"

Should I be flattered? Or perhaps I should be rushing off to a plastic surgeon to schedule a boob job? I just never know what is going to come out of that child's mouth, and I surely don't know what to think about my purse-pocket boobs.

Never the Answer I Expect

I took the girls this evening to see the stage production of High School Musical 2. It was a great show, and we all really enjoyed it. The audience was an odd combination of 5-10 year old girls and their mothers along with retirees who I assume are season ticket holders. I'm guessing the latter group may not have known what they were getting themselves into! Anyway, on the drive home, I asked the girls what things were different between the play and the movie, expecting answers like the actors, some of the songs, a few parts of the plot, but instead I got this answer from Elise: "Well, this is obvious, of course, but the stage show is in 3-D... like the people have sides, and in the movie, they are flat, and they aren't real." That just made me chuckle. Poor Zac Efron with no sides!  

Seven Going on Thirteen

The end of one school year and beginning of the next are coming up fast (we only have a week in between grades), so I showed the girls the LL Bean and Land's End websites and told them to pick out lunchboxes and backpacks. Elise picked out a green backpack and blue lunchbox. The next day, she asked me if I had ordered them yet. I hadn't. Then she said, "Then I want to change the lunchbox to green. I'm just SO over blue."

I Don't Think the Tattletale is the Problem Here...

Nina: "Mommy, Elise punched me in the stomach, and kicked me in the forehead, and pushed me against the wall."

Elise: "No I didn't!  Nina is just making that up to get me in trouble!"

Nina: "No I'm not!"

Me: "So, Elise, did you do those things?"

Elise: "Just two of them. NOT THE THIRD!"

Nina: "She really did! She punched me right here and kicked me right here and pushed me into the wall!"

Elise: "Nina, STOP TATTLING! YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A JERK!"

<followed by fits of silent laughter from the parents who can't be seen by the children>

 

Smiling like...

Nina described Addison tonight like this: "She's smiling big... like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!"

I can't say that I've ever seen a PB&J smiling, but given Nina's tone of voice, it must be a very happy sandwich variety!